Str8 Acting Does that = Internalized Homophobia?

I have heard soo many gay men describe themselves as "straight-acting and straight-appearing".  This phrase makes no sense to me.  Does the guy really mean he is "butch" or "masculine"?  If that is what he means then fucking say that.  When I hear the words "straight-acting", I instantly think, "Why are you acting" and "Who do you think you are fooling, no one thinks you are straight".  I have NEVER meet a man in which I could not tell if he was homosexual or heterosexual.  It's called "gay-dar".  I don't care how "butch" the guy is I just get a vibe and have never been wrong.



But, let's take this deeper.  When a gay men insist on using the term "straight-acting" is it a form of internalized homophobia?  Does he think the fact other might think he is straight a positive thing and being perceived as gay is a bad thing?

I don't mean to offend anyone.  But if you get on your knees to suck dick or enjoying receiving a bj from another guys, that is not straight acting.  If you enjoy topping or bottoming with another man, that is not straight-acting.  If you are on a date with another man, that is not straight appearing.  If you look at another man and lust for him, that is not straight-acting.  If you are turned-on by any of these pictures, that is not straight acting.

 

So why is being masculine a good thing and being effeminate or obviously gay a bad thing?

I know at the end of the day, it is all about generalizations/stereotypes.  And possibly the fear of rejection.  Maybe I am naive, but I thought the ONLY deciding factor as to if a person was gay, was the fact that you are attracted to the same gender physically/mentally and emotionally.  I have a straight friend that loves fashion, he is married and totally not gay.  I have a gay friend who loves football and a policeman.

Now there is another segment of gay men that like to brag by saying "I am not-in-scene".  Which I understand to mean they go out to clubs or anything else that is associated to being gay.  Again another generalization / stereotype.  I have heterosexual friends who don't go out clubbing but they don't say "I am not-in-scene".   Either you enjoy going out clubbing, have moved on past the clubscene or just have never been into clubbing.  I have a friend that I have known since he was 19.  He is now 32 and to this day he has never liked clubs and still does not go out.  I have a heterosexual female friend that is 40 and she is a party animal and in the clubs every weekend.  I live in LA and there is always something going on outside of a club. 

I understand that some gay men are turned on more by masculinity and that is cool.  But his behavior and appearance.........there is nothing straight about that LOL.