FLASHBACK: MY FIRST TIME IN A GAY BAR.

Picture this, it is 1984 and Summer in Chicago.  I was 16 years old but looked not a day over 14.  A good friend of mine along with his friend took me out to the club.  There were all 18 - 21.  My friends was only 15 but looked 21.  They did not want me to come along because they did not think I looked old enough to get in.  Secondly they did not even ask or tell me we were going to a gay club.  But I am not stupid, I knew what was going on.

Anyway we went to this ghetto ass, hole in the wall club, under the L Train Station.  This club was the size of a walk-in closet.  I got to the door, just as I opened the door a girl came running and out and threw up on my shoes and said "damn the drugs are good tonight".  My first thought was "why is there a women in this gay bar".  At 16 I really did not think about women being gay also.  The doorman handed me napkins to clean off my penny lofter.   Don't laugh I was very preppy back then.  I clean off my shoes and the doorman said, "I know damn well you are not 18, but since you are soo cute I will let you in".  The drinking age in 1984 was 18.  The following year it changed to 21.

I proceed to move past the overweight doorman who lustfully allowed me into the club.  I guess it does help to be young and cute.  Anyway, I digress excuse the moment of stroking my own ego LOL.  I walked up to the bar with my friends who ordered drinks.  I ordered a coke, yes a coke because I had no idea what alcoholic beverage I would like.  I got my coke and squeezed my way thru the crowd (as many many hands grabbed my ass along the way) until I found an opening spot to just stand and watch.  I felt like he new prisoner being taken to my ceil as the other inmate make cat calls at me as I walk past.  The music was amazing.  They were playing house music.  It was a type of music I had never heard.  And it was not played on the radio.  The guys were dancing all night long.  I could feel the bass of the music penetrating my skin.  It was hard to keep still, the music had a spell that forced you to dance.  But I was scared, I had never danced with a guy before.

Finally my friend came by to check on me to ensure some old troll had not kidnapped me.  Or some hot stud had taken advantage of my virginity.   He took me to stand with his friends.  Standing right by us was Jermaine Stewart and Slyvester.  I shit you not. 

For those of you too young to know the origin of "house music", "Jermaine Stewart" and "Slyvester" Google them.  Way before there was a Boy George there was Slyvester.  And Jermaine Stewart had a best friend / fag hag who we now know as Jody Watley.  Slyvester's fag hag and singing partner we know as Martha Wash.   I was star stuck.

Now the club is closing it is almost 5 in the morning.  We are all on the street in front of the club.  I now call this phenomena "the sidewalk sell".  It is a guys last chance to get lucky.  The DJ comes out to chat with my friend.  I later find out his name is Frankie Knuckles.  Yes, the "God Father of House Music" who has made dance version for practically every top singer's song like Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Madonna and many more.

And that boys and girls was my first night out in a gay bar.  I walked into that club a 16 year old, preppy kid from a upper middle suburb.   I left the club wanting more and more and more.  It was quite a night.  I have loved house music every since.  And I sorta prefer hole in the wall clubs over classy bars. But that is another blog entry.

STUD MUFFIN OF THE WEEK: NATE BERKUS

Stud Muffin of the Week:   NATE BERKUS (Interior Designer to the Stars)

Oprah's personal Interior Designer Tate Berkus now has his own show on NBC.  He is also featured monthly in the O Magazine.  He is the hot guy next door type BUT has not idea he is hot.  He is openly gay and lost his partner during the tsunami in Indonesia a few years ago. 

Tune in to his show.  He is the FIRST openly gay man to have his own tv show on a major network.  Don't tune in because he is gay.  Tune in because he is a great guy and I wish him much success.  He deserves it.

REMEMBERING 9/11

Today, I want to take the time to remember the innocent people who lost their lives on 9/11.  Today I want to take the time to remember the people who have lost their lives in the war that is happening after wards. TO ALL OF THEM...REST IN PEACE.

 Check out this footage of the future 9/11 memorial and museum:



I have always loved this picture.

HOMAGE TO GLEN HANSON

 GLEN HANSON

Quite some years ago I was thumping through a magazine and was amazed at the cartoons/art work I saw.  I looked at the credits/by-line and found his name.  I recently ran into his work again and felt the need to share the knowledge.

Check out his website.  Go out and purchase his book.  Join his FaceBook Page.  Or even commission him for work of your own for your business or personal needs.

Here is some of his work and his website www.glenhanson.com.

SIGN OF THE TIMES - COMPUTERS/MOBILE PHONES TAKING OVER

I remember a time when I would go out with my friends on a Friday and/or Saturday night. We would actually talk to each other and catch up on each others lives. I remember going to the club and hoping someone would ask me to dance. I remember going to the club and hoping I meet someone and bringing him home with me. I remember going to the club and you purposely put forth an effort to meet someone you did not know. Or try to build up the courage to talk to the guy you have a crush on. I remember a time before cell phones in which I actually remembered everyone's telephone number. I remember when everyone made musical/campy recordings for their answering machines. I remember having a pager/beeper and you gave each of your friends their own numeric code. I remember when the only computer access you would have was at work or the public library. Everything was a face-to-face interaction no computerized customer service rep.

But today with modern technology we are losing the ability to interact without the use of mobile phones and computers. I have had long in-depth conversation with people via text messages. I have had friends tell me disturbing news or their secrets via email. There are soo many ways to communicate today with the assistance of soo many social networking sites for work and pleasure.

Kids today from birth are exposed to computers.

My fear is the lack of face-to-face interaction. Because of the various ways to communicate people are now lacking the ability to listen, the ability to have group conversation, and the tact to ask questions (example: how many times have you asked a guy to his face "how hung are you?"  I would guess never.  How many times have you received a compliment to your face and you say nothing, walk away or say "Sorry you are not my type"?  I would guess never).

My main concern is the lack of sensitivity. Because you can sit in the comfort of your house it provides a false sense of security. Which in return allows some people to be rude, insensitive, and disrespect. People behave online in a manner they never would if the person was in their presence.  The funny part or what I like to call Karma is that you 9 times out of 10 will run into that person when you least expect it and they get to point you out to all their friends as "the asshole from online".

I am all for technology. But how many times have you had a connection with a guy online and then it moves to email and then to texting, then you finally meet the guy and you feel nothing and he has nothing to say. But online he has tons to say.

I set up guidelines for myself and maybe you will do the same:

1. I limited the times I check my email throughout the day to twice a day.
2. I update or read my Facebook only once a week.
3. Various sites like Adam4Adam I might go on once a week.
4. I try to do a blog entry only when I have something to say.
5. I try to meet with my various friends at least once a week and I keep my phone in  my pocket.
6. If I meet a guy online I want to meet him sooner than later instead of spending time emailing and texting.

I can't image my world without my iPod, Blackberry and my laptop but the interesting thing is that I without a second thought will leave all those things at home when I go on vacation....and I don't miss them.  Try it for just one day, you would be shocked how you will not miss any of it.

HERE IS A CHALLENGE FOR YOU, GO JUST ONE DAY WITHOUT USING YOUR iPOD, MOBILE PHONE AND COMPUTER ONCE A MONTH.  Go out and enjoy life, go have dinner with a friend, visit a museum or go on hike. 

DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER AND THE "N" WORD

As per Wikipedia - On August 10, 2010, Anita Hanson, an African American woman married to a white man, called Schlessinger's show to ask for advice on dealing with racial comments made by acquaintances. During the call, Schlessinger used the word "nigger" 11 times, saying that using the word was not racist, and continuing to use it after Hanson asked, "Is it ever OK to say that word?" Schlessinger attempted to justify her use by saying, "Black guys use it all the time." After the call Schlesinger said, "If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race." One day later Schlessinger apologized. Hanson questioned the motivation and sincerity of Schlessinger's apology, believing it to be result of being "caught". Hanson also said that Schlessinger made no apology regarding her comments on interracial marriage.

Schlesinger announced she would end her radio show at the end of 2010.

Dr. Laura is no stranger to controversy.  Her views on homosexuality, race, religion, women and their roles and on and on has always got media attention but in a negative way.  In regards to the end of her show, I only have two words........."Bye Bitch!"  But in defensive of Dr. Laura she is entitled to her opinions.  Once you voice that opinion you have to be willing to deal with the backlash.

Honestly I am confused as to why the caller (Anita Hanson) would call the Dr. Laura Show when she has in the past demonstrated racists views.  The #1 fact that I am confused about is how did Dr. Laura get a show giving advice.  She is has a Ph.D in Physiology not Psychology. So, shouldn't she be teaching Biology at the local college and not giving advice on a nationally syndicated radio show?  INFORMATION IS ONLY AS GOOD AS IT'S SOURCE. Asking Dr. Laura for advice is like asking Hitler to give advice on race relations.

The whole Dr. Laura fiasco prompted me to really think about the "N" word.

I am 42 and the product of parents who were young adults during the civil rights movement.  So, since birth I knew the "N" word was a word to create pain.  A word to made to insult.  A word made to inflict fear.  A word made to someone feel like a second class citizen or not human at all.  100s or 1000s of people have died over this word.  Not from the word itself but died for being of African decent.  

 The comedian Chris Rock stated in his stand-up act says "I love black people but I hate the n@gg$*s".  Most of the Black people make a distinct difference between "Black people" and "N@gg$*s".   I find that concept very interesting.  I guess Obama would be considered "Black" and Flavor Fav would be considered a "n@gg$*.

I know for some the use of the "N" word is confusing.  Especially when you hear African Americans use that word with each other.  Especially when the rap genre of music pretty much uses the word in a lot of their songs.  A friend said to me "Blacks using the "N" word is the same as women calling each other "bitch" or when gay men call each other "punk" or "fag".  But if you don't fall in to the group of the racial or insensitive slur...then you can't use the word".  That makes a lot of sense to me. 

 Honestly, I love a good racial joke...but it has to really be good.  

 I PERSONALLY DO NOT USE ANY RACIAL SLURS.  Because of the history and pain behind the word...I JUST DON'T USE THE "N" WORD........ever...and I never will.  In my experience of those that use the "N" I find the word is used out of ignorance (meaning environment), lack of education (meaning knowing the history behind the word) and life experiences (meaning those around you use the word so you just follow suit - "sometime it is hard to take a stand because you usually find you are standing alone).

TALK IT OUT - DON'T FIGHT IT OUT

Effective at midnight on August 31, 2010 the war in Iraq is over.  But, will there ever be "Peace in the Middle East"?  War has existed in the Middle East since biblical times.  These people are willing to die and kill for their cause.  They will NEVER stop until they get want they want or die.  Generation after generation will continue to fight as per their interpretation of the Koran.

I am still confused about this war.  Where are the weapons of mass destruction?

Hell, we did not even get control over oil.  Which in my opinion is the REAL reason as to why we were there.

I also believe that the #1 reason why we are in a recession is because of the money spent on the war.  The housing crisis should not have sent us into a recession.  The housing crisis would not have cause many banks and business to close their doors or file for bankruptcy.

Since the war stated on 3/19/2003 - 31,929 military and civilian contractors have been wounded.  1,366,350 military and civilian contractors have lost their lives.  Why?  For a stupid, sense-less, unnecessary, egotistical, Bush family feud.

 President Clinton was impeached for cheating on his wife.  Why can't President Bush go to jail for lying to US citizens for the reasons behind the Iraq War?

For all the military and civilian personnel that serviced during this time for my freedom, liberty and justice...THANK YOU