A friend of mine was visiting LA for work. I entertained (movies, dinner, shopping etc) him at night once he finished all of his meetings. He arrived Monday and departed on Saturday morning back to Indiana. So, last night (Friday) he called me after I dropped him off from drinks at The Abbey in West Hollywood. He was looking for some "action" and decided to go to a sex club or bath house because his online attempts take too long.
I had no interest in going to a sex club or bath house. So provided him a list of what I found online:
He decided he wanted to go to a sex club (he was not in the mood for walking around in a towl - although he as a nice body). So, he went to The Zone. It was closest via taxi since he did not rent a car.
So now it is Saturday and I am taking my friend to the airport. He tells me in detail about his adventures. After the conversation and a good laugh, on my drive back home I thought of some "sex club rules".
These rules are based on the conversation I had with my friend and his observation:
- Hygiene - make sure you are freshly showered.
- If you are a bottom - make sure your ass is cleaned out.
- Don't come with friends. IF you must come with yours friends separate/disperse.
- Unless you are a doctor or your wife is about to give birth at any minute....leave your phone in the car. Who in the fuck are you texting or talking to in the middle of a sex club? Using your phone as a light source is not acceptable in the dark room...it defeats the purpose of the dark room. The key to the dark room is to have eye contact with a guy and he will want you to follow him into the dark room.
- Put paper towels in your pocket to wipe your dick or ass until you can get to the bathroom. And go straight to the bathroom. PLEASE wash your dick and ass after each encounter. And rinse your mouth with water or mouthwash (if it is provided).
- Be nice, leave the attitude at home. It is already difficult enough to deal with rejection but there is no need to be an asshole. Politely/gently refuse the guy.
- Don't just grab a guy's ass or dick without some type eye contact first. And hopefully he will show if he is interested or not.
- It is a sex club not a discussion group...so if you need to have a conversation go to a non-sex area or the lounge. I do understand that in the 60's - early 80's sex club/bath houses were a social meeting place.....well not anymore.
- If you exchange telephone numbers with a guy.....don't expect him to call.
- If you are in a booth surrounded by glory holes and you are NOT attracted to the guy next to you, do not block the hole with your hand or your shirt....that is just rude. What make you think that he wanted you to begin with.
- If you are not using a booth or private room but standing in the doorway....get the fuck out the way and let others use it.
- If your dick does not get hard because you have already cum but yet you still want to get sucked or fuck....take your ass home, it is over for you for 2nite. LOL.
- Don't assume - not everyone wants you. Just because the guy stands next to you, or in the booth next to you, or even checks you out. If he wants you I am sure it will make the point crystal clear...it is a sex club.
- No mean no, if the guy is not interested, leave him alone.
- If you see 2 guys making out....unless they invite you to join....leave them alone.
- Lastly, have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's a lot of rules!
ReplyDeleteI know...he was just being silly and having fun. But some of the rules I think are good ones.
ReplyDeleteWow, The Zone, been A LONG time since I went there, amusing it's still opened. Good set of rules, esp the leave the two hot guys making out alone. Nothing worse then being into a hot encounter and having an additional set of hands grabbing at you and having to get bitchy and swat em away. Recall one Sunday afternoon, the young hottie hispanic manager took a liking to me (imagine the perks of such a job, though has to make up for the smell), anyway, he took me into the upstairs pvt. office that had a mattress in it (shock & awe). He tried to fuck me raw, didn't succeed, I left laughing, so much for the 'safe sex' policy. Oh and funny when guys dropped their car keys in the heat of the moment and later were back on their hands and knees (ick) at the various locations where they hooked up in the club looking for em.
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