I AM BACK

I have been EXTREMELY busy which is why I have not made a blog entry in a very long time.  I miss blogging I find it to be extremely therapeutic.

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FLASHBACK: MY FIRST TIME IN A GAY BAR.

Picture this, it is 1984 and Summer in Chicago.  I was 16 years old but looked not a day over 14.  A good friend of mine along with his friend took me out to the club.  There were all 18 - 21.  My friends was only 15 but looked 21.  They did not want me to come along because they did not think I looked old enough to get in.  Secondly they did not even ask or tell me we were going to a gay club.  But I am not stupid, I knew what was going on.

Anyway we went to this ghetto ass, hole in the wall club, under the L Train Station.  This club was the size of a walk-in closet.  I got to the door, just as I opened the door a girl came running and out and threw up on my shoes and said "damn the drugs are good tonight".  My first thought was "why is there a women in this gay bar".  At 16 I really did not think about women being gay also.  The doorman handed me napkins to clean off my penny lofter.   Don't laugh I was very preppy back then.  I clean off my shoes and the doorman said, "I know damn well you are not 18, but since you are soo cute I will let you in".  The drinking age in 1984 was 18.  The following year it changed to 21.

I proceed to move past the overweight doorman who lustfully allowed me into the club.  I guess it does help to be young and cute.  Anyway, I digress excuse the moment of stroking my own ego LOL.  I walked up to the bar with my friends who ordered drinks.  I ordered a coke, yes a coke because I had no idea what alcoholic beverage I would like.  I got my coke and squeezed my way thru the crowd (as many many hands grabbed my ass along the way) until I found an opening spot to just stand and watch.  I felt like he new prisoner being taken to my ceil as the other inmate make cat calls at me as I walk past.  The music was amazing.  They were playing house music.  It was a type of music I had never heard.  And it was not played on the radio.  The guys were dancing all night long.  I could feel the bass of the music penetrating my skin.  It was hard to keep still, the music had a spell that forced you to dance.  But I was scared, I had never danced with a guy before.

Finally my friend came by to check on me to ensure some old troll had not kidnapped me.  Or some hot stud had taken advantage of my virginity.   He took me to stand with his friends.  Standing right by us was Jermaine Stewart and Slyvester.  I shit you not. 

For those of you too young to know the origin of "house music", "Jermaine Stewart" and "Slyvester" Google them.  Way before there was a Boy George there was Slyvester.  And Jermaine Stewart had a best friend / fag hag who we now know as Jody Watley.  Slyvester's fag hag and singing partner we know as Martha Wash.   I was star stuck.

Now the club is closing it is almost 5 in the morning.  We are all on the street in front of the club.  I now call this phenomena "the sidewalk sell".  It is a guys last chance to get lucky.  The DJ comes out to chat with my friend.  I later find out his name is Frankie Knuckles.  Yes, the "God Father of House Music" who has made dance version for practically every top singer's song like Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Madonna and many more.

And that boys and girls was my first night out in a gay bar.  I walked into that club a 16 year old, preppy kid from a upper middle suburb.   I left the club wanting more and more and more.  It was quite a night.  I have loved house music every since.  And I sorta prefer hole in the wall clubs over classy bars. But that is another blog entry.

STUD MUFFIN OF THE WEEK: NATE BERKUS

Stud Muffin of the Week:   NATE BERKUS (Interior Designer to the Stars)

Oprah's personal Interior Designer Tate Berkus now has his own show on NBC.  He is also featured monthly in the O Magazine.  He is the hot guy next door type BUT has not idea he is hot.  He is openly gay and lost his partner during the tsunami in Indonesia a few years ago. 

Tune in to his show.  He is the FIRST openly gay man to have his own tv show on a major network.  Don't tune in because he is gay.  Tune in because he is a great guy and I wish him much success.  He deserves it.

REMEMBERING 9/11

Today, I want to take the time to remember the innocent people who lost their lives on 9/11.  Today I want to take the time to remember the people who have lost their lives in the war that is happening after wards. TO ALL OF THEM...REST IN PEACE.

 Check out this footage of the future 9/11 memorial and museum:



I have always loved this picture.

HOMAGE TO GLEN HANSON

 GLEN HANSON

Quite some years ago I was thumping through a magazine and was amazed at the cartoons/art work I saw.  I looked at the credits/by-line and found his name.  I recently ran into his work again and felt the need to share the knowledge.

Check out his website.  Go out and purchase his book.  Join his FaceBook Page.  Or even commission him for work of your own for your business or personal needs.

Here is some of his work and his website www.glenhanson.com.

SIGN OF THE TIMES - COMPUTERS/MOBILE PHONES TAKING OVER

I remember a time when I would go out with my friends on a Friday and/or Saturday night. We would actually talk to each other and catch up on each others lives. I remember going to the club and hoping someone would ask me to dance. I remember going to the club and hoping I meet someone and bringing him home with me. I remember going to the club and you purposely put forth an effort to meet someone you did not know. Or try to build up the courage to talk to the guy you have a crush on. I remember a time before cell phones in which I actually remembered everyone's telephone number. I remember when everyone made musical/campy recordings for their answering machines. I remember having a pager/beeper and you gave each of your friends their own numeric code. I remember when the only computer access you would have was at work or the public library. Everything was a face-to-face interaction no computerized customer service rep.

But today with modern technology we are losing the ability to interact without the use of mobile phones and computers. I have had long in-depth conversation with people via text messages. I have had friends tell me disturbing news or their secrets via email. There are soo many ways to communicate today with the assistance of soo many social networking sites for work and pleasure.

Kids today from birth are exposed to computers.

My fear is the lack of face-to-face interaction. Because of the various ways to communicate people are now lacking the ability to listen, the ability to have group conversation, and the tact to ask questions (example: how many times have you asked a guy to his face "how hung are you?"  I would guess never.  How many times have you received a compliment to your face and you say nothing, walk away or say "Sorry you are not my type"?  I would guess never).

My main concern is the lack of sensitivity. Because you can sit in the comfort of your house it provides a false sense of security. Which in return allows some people to be rude, insensitive, and disrespect. People behave online in a manner they never would if the person was in their presence.  The funny part or what I like to call Karma is that you 9 times out of 10 will run into that person when you least expect it and they get to point you out to all their friends as "the asshole from online".

I am all for technology. But how many times have you had a connection with a guy online and then it moves to email and then to texting, then you finally meet the guy and you feel nothing and he has nothing to say. But online he has tons to say.

I set up guidelines for myself and maybe you will do the same:

1. I limited the times I check my email throughout the day to twice a day.
2. I update or read my Facebook only once a week.
3. Various sites like Adam4Adam I might go on once a week.
4. I try to do a blog entry only when I have something to say.
5. I try to meet with my various friends at least once a week and I keep my phone in  my pocket.
6. If I meet a guy online I want to meet him sooner than later instead of spending time emailing and texting.

I can't image my world without my iPod, Blackberry and my laptop but the interesting thing is that I without a second thought will leave all those things at home when I go on vacation....and I don't miss them.  Try it for just one day, you would be shocked how you will not miss any of it.

HERE IS A CHALLENGE FOR YOU, GO JUST ONE DAY WITHOUT USING YOUR iPOD, MOBILE PHONE AND COMPUTER ONCE A MONTH.  Go out and enjoy life, go have dinner with a friend, visit a museum or go on hike. 

DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER AND THE "N" WORD

As per Wikipedia - On August 10, 2010, Anita Hanson, an African American woman married to a white man, called Schlessinger's show to ask for advice on dealing with racial comments made by acquaintances. During the call, Schlessinger used the word "nigger" 11 times, saying that using the word was not racist, and continuing to use it after Hanson asked, "Is it ever OK to say that word?" Schlessinger attempted to justify her use by saying, "Black guys use it all the time." After the call Schlesinger said, "If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race." One day later Schlessinger apologized. Hanson questioned the motivation and sincerity of Schlessinger's apology, believing it to be result of being "caught". Hanson also said that Schlessinger made no apology regarding her comments on interracial marriage.

Schlesinger announced she would end her radio show at the end of 2010.

Dr. Laura is no stranger to controversy.  Her views on homosexuality, race, religion, women and their roles and on and on has always got media attention but in a negative way.  In regards to the end of her show, I only have two words........."Bye Bitch!"  But in defensive of Dr. Laura she is entitled to her opinions.  Once you voice that opinion you have to be willing to deal with the backlash.

Honestly I am confused as to why the caller (Anita Hanson) would call the Dr. Laura Show when she has in the past demonstrated racists views.  The #1 fact that I am confused about is how did Dr. Laura get a show giving advice.  She is has a Ph.D in Physiology not Psychology. So, shouldn't she be teaching Biology at the local college and not giving advice on a nationally syndicated radio show?  INFORMATION IS ONLY AS GOOD AS IT'S SOURCE. Asking Dr. Laura for advice is like asking Hitler to give advice on race relations.

The whole Dr. Laura fiasco prompted me to really think about the "N" word.

I am 42 and the product of parents who were young adults during the civil rights movement.  So, since birth I knew the "N" word was a word to create pain.  A word to made to insult.  A word made to inflict fear.  A word made to someone feel like a second class citizen or not human at all.  100s or 1000s of people have died over this word.  Not from the word itself but died for being of African decent.  

 The comedian Chris Rock stated in his stand-up act says "I love black people but I hate the n@gg$*s".  Most of the Black people make a distinct difference between "Black people" and "N@gg$*s".   I find that concept very interesting.  I guess Obama would be considered "Black" and Flavor Fav would be considered a "n@gg$*.

I know for some the use of the "N" word is confusing.  Especially when you hear African Americans use that word with each other.  Especially when the rap genre of music pretty much uses the word in a lot of their songs.  A friend said to me "Blacks using the "N" word is the same as women calling each other "bitch" or when gay men call each other "punk" or "fag".  But if you don't fall in to the group of the racial or insensitive slur...then you can't use the word".  That makes a lot of sense to me. 

 Honestly, I love a good racial joke...but it has to really be good.  

 I PERSONALLY DO NOT USE ANY RACIAL SLURS.  Because of the history and pain behind the word...I JUST DON'T USE THE "N" WORD........ever...and I never will.  In my experience of those that use the "N" I find the word is used out of ignorance (meaning environment), lack of education (meaning knowing the history behind the word) and life experiences (meaning those around you use the word so you just follow suit - "sometime it is hard to take a stand because you usually find you are standing alone).

TALK IT OUT - DON'T FIGHT IT OUT

Effective at midnight on August 31, 2010 the war in Iraq is over.  But, will there ever be "Peace in the Middle East"?  War has existed in the Middle East since biblical times.  These people are willing to die and kill for their cause.  They will NEVER stop until they get want they want or die.  Generation after generation will continue to fight as per their interpretation of the Koran.

I am still confused about this war.  Where are the weapons of mass destruction?

Hell, we did not even get control over oil.  Which in my opinion is the REAL reason as to why we were there.

I also believe that the #1 reason why we are in a recession is because of the money spent on the war.  The housing crisis should not have sent us into a recession.  The housing crisis would not have cause many banks and business to close their doors or file for bankruptcy.

Since the war stated on 3/19/2003 - 31,929 military and civilian contractors have been wounded.  1,366,350 military and civilian contractors have lost their lives.  Why?  For a stupid, sense-less, unnecessary, egotistical, Bush family feud.

 President Clinton was impeached for cheating on his wife.  Why can't President Bush go to jail for lying to US citizens for the reasons behind the Iraq War?

For all the military and civilian personnel that serviced during this time for my freedom, liberty and justice...THANK YOU

LOS ANGEGLES vs. NEW YORK CITY

I am originally from the Mid-west (Chicago to be specific) but I have lived in Los Angeles for the past 10 years.  I moved to Los Angeles from New York City.

Many times I hear people complain about NYC.  Comments like "the people are soo rude".  9 times out of 10 the comment is coming from someone who has NEVER lived in NYC or even visited.  They are just making statements based on another person's experience.  Well after repeatedly hearing some stupidity it prompted me to write this blog.

In my personal opinion (someone who has lived in or visited pretty much every major city in the USA - Chicago, Boston, NYC, Atlanta, Miami, San Francisco, Houston, Seattle, Philly - not to mention cities in other countries like London, Paris, Madrid, Barcelona and on and on - you get the picture), the people of Los Angeles are far more rude.   There are many things I love about Los Angeles (or should I say - I love about California).  But my list of the things I dislike is a longer list.

The things I like about Los Angeles:

• Sunny weather all year round.
• The mountains, hills and valleys
• The beaches (every time I go to the beach I see whales, dolphins are some other sea life).
• Celebrity sightings.
• Movies com out in LA before any other city. 
• San Diego is only a 2 hour drive away - San Francisco is a 1 hour flight.  In the winter skiing is only a 1 hour drive away.
• I am NEVER bored in LA - something is always going on.

The shit I totally dislike about Los Angeles:

• Traffic
• The city of Los Angeles just does not have a "vibe".
• Lack of creative architecture
• LA is not called the "Land of Flakes and Nuts" for nothing.  The people here are notorious for flaking.  In LA you most definitely have to have a plan B and C because plan A is not going to happen.  I have never in my life meet sooo many nutty/crazy people.
• People in LA are treated based on if you work in "the business" (entertainment) and which director, producer or actor you know.  (Because the city is full of wanna-be writers, actors, producers, etc and they just want their big break and hope you can help them.)
• Shallowness reins supreme - it is all about body beautiful, face, ass, and tits.
• Materialism - if you don't drive a nice car you are not going to fit in.  If you don't wear the latest fashion fade you will not fit in.
• Rudeness/disrespect - it is totally acceptable in LA to NOT say "excuse me", "thank you", "sorry" and even giving someone direct eyes contact when you are talking to them.
• The people of LA are rude but the funny thing is that they have the nerve to also be "fragile".  If you say or do anything to bring that person to "reality", that is perceived as "you are soo mean or negative or aggressive".
• Clones - every as the same hair style and clothes.

New York, New York!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What I love about NYC:

• The energy and vibe of the city.  Each borough has it's own feel.
• The people are such individuals.
• The people are direct (I do not consider that rude).
• Live theater (Broadway and off Broadway).
• Music is always released first in NYC.
• Fashion! man, this is the fashion capital of the US.
• Diversity - every ethnicity under the sun lives in NYC.
• HOT - naturally beautiful men and women.
• Central Park
• ALWAYS something to do.
• You can get any type of food you want any time of the night.
• If you wanted to you can party all night, you can the clubs close around 6 a.m.
• I don't have to drive, I have a choice between a taxi or the subway.

What I dislike about NYC

• Cost of living and what you get for your money.
• Sometimes it is just overwhelming  - too many people and stuff going on.

At the end of the day, I live in Los Angeles and although I have never felt at home here, it is home for now and I make the best of any situation.

Again, this is just my experience, go to LA and NYC and experience for yourself.

WHAT IS "LOVE" ? !

I have been in 4 relationships.  And I have never been in "love".  I loved the men I dated just like I do my friends and family.  But I have never experience the type of love that people write songs, books, and movies about.  Hell, some people have commit murder in the name of love.

So when Prop 8 was deemed as unconstitutional, I started to think, "Who would want to marry me?", "Hell, have I ever dated anyone I would actually marry?"  It caused me to think about my past relationships.

Relationship #1 -  I was only 20 years old.  I had no idea what I wanted in a man.  All I threw is that this man wanted me and I wanted him.  We were both "young, dumb and full of cum", so we went 100 mph forward into the unknown.  The relationship latest for about 1 year.  It was my first "love" or as some call "puppy love".

Relationship #2 - I was 27 years old.  I had a crush on this guy.  And unbeknown to me he had a crush on me.  One night he was drunk and confessed his feeling while we were at the same party.  But he had a boyfriend at the time.  So, I quickly dismissed the entire incident and told no one about it.  A few month later he was single (but still living with his boyfriend).  Long story short, the boyfriend moved out of state and he moved in with me.  Again, another relationship that moved 100 mph forward.  As I look back I wondered "why did I get into that relationship to begin with?"  And I have to be honest with myself I know exactly why I moved so quickly:

1. He was HOT. And I could not believe someone that hot wanted me.  BUT so fucking boring.  He never talked or had an opinion.  It was like dating a deal mute.  He had not a drop of personality. But he was hot and wanted me.
2. They guy I was dating prior to meeting my future bf dumped me to get back with his ex and I felt rejected and lonely.

This relationship lasted for over 1 year and man on man was there alot of drama (because of his friends).  But I finally woke up and the rest is history.

Relationship #3 -  This guy was soo funny.  I enjoyed spending time with him.  We would be silly and just laugh and laugh.  Hanging out with was like hanging out my a friend.  The sex was amazing.  But at the end of the relationship I realized his feeling for me where not about "love" it was about "lust" and because he was a person that cannot be single.  We were together for one year.  I honestly thought we would continue to be a couple regardless of our issues.  We got back together after the first time we broke up and then time the relationship last another year. Total for two years.  Currently we are not friends....long story.  As of today I am utterly disappointed but not shocked about the latest situation.  Why was I in a relationship with him period:

1. Because I suffer from severe low esteem, he made me feel attractive.
2. We had soo much fun together, he made me feel like a child again.

Relationship #4 - This guys is the sweetest, nicest, smartest person I have ever meet.  From the moment I first met him I saw this "glow" around his entire body.  I knew he would forever be in my life.  To this very day he continue to be the same person he was when I meet him 5 years ago.  We are no longer a couple but he is indeed one of my best friends.  Why did I move forward into this relationship:

1. I thought it was not going to get any better than this guy so I tied him down before anyone else could get him.
2. I meet him during a time that I had lost complete hope in that their were nice guys in Los Angeles. So again when I meet him I had to keep him.

I say all of this (providing my dating history) because I am beginning to wonder that as we experience life, dates various types of guys, mature (grow up) we (or should I say "I") realized that "love" is not going to happen for everyone.  I have a friend who is now 47 years old and he has never been in a relationship and his last date was probably back when Carter was president LOL.  I have another friend in which he and his partner have been together for 12 years.  You can feel the energy of love the minute you enter their house.  They still behave as if they just meet.  That is what I want.  But is it in the "cards" for me to find love?

 I believe the world has to be balanced.  Some people have to be sick and some will be healthy.  Some people will be poor and some will be rich.  Some will find love and the other will be on a search for love.

Maybe I am one of those that will be on a search for love.

Stud Muffin of the Week: PASHA

Ok, so I was watching the local news and thinking about going to West Hollywood to celebrate the over turning of Prop 8 but no one wanted to go.  So, I ended up watching this show called..................

I had never watched the show before.  But one dancer in particular got my attention.  Hence, this blog entry.

Stud Muffin Of The Week

          PASHA

Pasha is from Russia and this HOT Eastern European specializes in  Latin dances such as the Tango.  Well, this gap tooth, cleft chinned stud got my attention.   He teaches dance in Manhattan.  And with his dance partner they are now in the professional dance circuit.

PROP 8 OVERTURNED

Today in California "Prop 8" was over turned as unconstitutional......"O Happy Day!"  Thank you Judge Vaughn Walker (appointing this judge to office is the only good thing President Reagan did for gays in this country - while he was Governor of CA.).

My feelings on this issue are obvious as stated in past blog entries. But, just to establish my opinion again, "I want equal rights for EVERYONE.  Marriage is a legal procedure.  If you decide to have the ceremony in a church, you have then just decided to have a legal procedure conducted in a religious manner."

Historically the majority has voted against most social issues (i.e Abortion, Minorities right to fair housing, Minorities right to fair education, Minorities in the Military, Women in the military, Minorities right to marry Whites, Women's right to vote and many more)  and our judicial system has always had to intervene.  What type of country would we be if our Supreme Court had not upheld the constitution?

As for the Mormon (who put up millions of dollar to spread hate and discrimination) and other religious groups, I have only two word for you.......................................F#$*  Y&!

The sad fact about the Mormon faith is that they fled to Utah to have a safe place to live and practice their religion.  Because across the country they were being discriminated against and in some instances killed.  But, instead of learning from what happened to them they do the total opposite and discriminate against another group of people.  Good job Mormon, I am sure your God will be very proud of you.  

Instead of using the millions they spend on schools, hospitals, the poor etc they used the money to spread hate.  You all will go out in the history books for this offense.  And be an embarrassment for future Mormons.

But, its okay, the weak get stronger and in this case the weak won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!