STROKING THRU LIFE

I AM BACK

2012-02-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

I have been EXTREMELY busy which is why I have not made a blog entry in a very long time. I miss blogging I find it to be extremely therapeutic.

formspring.me

2011-02-15T22:33:00.003-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/MasterOfTheKeys

What's the first thing that you usually notice about someone you meet?

2011-02-15T22:33:00.001-08:00

Eyes

Ask me anything

FLASHBACK: MY FIRST TIME IN A GAY BAR.

2010-09-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

Picture this, it is 1984 and Summer in Chicago. I was 16 years old but looked not a day over 14. A good friend of mine along with his friend took me out to the club. There were all 18 - 21. My friends was only 15 but looked 21. They did not want me to come along because they did not think I looked old enough to get in. Secondly they did not even ask or tell me we were going to a gay club. But I am not stupid, I knew what was going on.

Anyway we went to this ghetto ass, hole in the wall club, under the L Train Station. This club was the size of a walk-in closet. I got to the door, just as I opened the door a girl came running and out and threw up on my shoes and said "damn the drugs are good tonight". My first thought was "why is there a women in this gay bar". At 16 I really did not think about women being gay also. The doorman handed me napkins to clean off my penny lofter. Don't laugh I was very preppy back then. I clean off my shoes and the doorman said, "I know damn well you are not 18, but since you are soo cute I will let you in". The drinking age in 1984 was 18. The following year it changed to 21.

I proceed to move past the overweight doorman who lustfully allowed me into the club. I guess it does help to be young and cute. Anyway, I digress excuse the moment of stroking my own ego LOL. I walked up to the bar with my friends who ordered drinks. I ordered a coke, yes a coke because I had no idea what alcoholic beverage I would like. I got my coke and squeezed my way thru the crowd (as many many hands grabbed my ass along the way) until I found an opening spot to just stand and watch. I felt like he new prisoner being taken to my ceil as the other inmate make cat calls at me as I walk past. The music was amazing. They were playing house music. It was a type of music I had never heard. And it was not played on the radio. The guys were dancing all night long. I could feel the bass of the music penetrating my skin. It was hard to keep still, the music had a spell that forced you to dance. But I was scared, I had never danced with a guy before.

Finally my friend came by to check on me to ensure some old troll had not kidnapped me. Or some hot stud had taken advantage of my virginity. He took me to stand with his friends. Standing right by us was Jermaine Stewart and Slyvester. I shit you not.

For those of you too young to know the origin of "house music", "Jermaine Stewart" and "Slyvester" Google them. Way before there was a Boy George there was Slyvester. And Jermaine Stewart had a best friend / fag hag who we now know as Jody Watley. Slyvester's fag hag and singing partner we know as Martha Wash. I was star stuck.

Now the club is closing it is almost 5 in the morning. We are all on the street in front of the club. I now call this phenomena "the sidewalk sell". It is a guys last chance to get lucky. The DJ comes out to chat with my friend. I later find out his name is Frankie Knuckles. Yes, the "God Father of House Music" who has made dance version for practically every top singer's song like Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Madonna and many more.

And that boys and girls was my first night out in a gay bar. I walked into that club a 16 year old, preppy kid from a upper middle suburb. I left the club wanting more and more and more. It was quite a night. I have loved house music every since. And I sorta prefer hole in the wall clubs over classy bars. But that is another blog entry.

STUD MUFFIN OF THE WEEK: NATE BERKUS

2010-09-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

Stud Muffin of the Week: NATE BERKUS (Interior Designer to the Stars)

Oprah's personal Interior Designer Tate Berkus now has his own show on NBC. He is also featured monthly in the O Magazine. He is the hot guy next door type BUT has not idea he is hot. He is openly gay and lost his partner during the tsunami in Indonesia a few years ago.

Tune in to his show. He is the FIRST openly gay man to have his own tv show on a major network. Don't tune in because he is gay. Tune in because he is a great guy and I wish him much success. He deserves it.

REMEMBERING 9/11

2010-09-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

Today, I want to take the time to remember the innocent people who lost their lives on 9/11. Today I want to take the time to remember the people who have lost their lives in the war that is happening after wards. TO ALL OF THEM...REST IN PEACE.

Check out this footage of the future 9/11 memorial and museum:

I have always loved this picture.

HOMAGE TO GLEN HANSON

2010-09-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

GLEN HANSON

Quite some years ago I was thumping through a magazine and was amazed at the cartoons/art work I saw. I looked at the credits/by-line and found his name. I recently ran into his work again and felt the need to share the knowledge.

Check out his website. Go out and purchase his book. Join his FaceBook Page. Or even commission him for work of your own for your business or personal needs.

Here is some of his work and his website www.glenhanson.com.

SIGN OF THE TIMES - COMPUTERS/MOBILE PHONES TAKING OVER

2010-09-08T13:19:00.000-07:00

I remember a time when I would go out with my friends on a Friday and/or Saturday night. We would actually talk to each other and catch up on each others lives. I remember going to the club and hoping someone would ask me to dance. I remember going to the club and hoping I meet someone and bringing him home with me. I remember going to the club and you purposely put forth an effort to meet someone you did not know. Or try to build up the courage to talk to the guy you have a crush on. I remember a time before cell phones in which I actually remembered everyone's telephone number. I remember when everyone made musical/campy recordings for their answering machines. I remember having a pager/beeper and you gave each of your friends their own numeric code. I remember when the only computer access you would have was at work or the public library. Everything was a face-to-face interaction no computerized customer service rep.

But today with modern technology we are losing the ability to interact without the use of mobile phones and computers. I have had long in-depth conversation with people via text messages. I have had friends tell me disturbing news or their secrets via email. There are soo many ways to communicate today with the assistance of soo many social networking sites for work and pleasure.

Kids today from birth are exposed to computers.

My fear is the lack of face-to-face interaction. Because of the various ways to communicate people are now lacking the ability to listen, the ability to have group conversation, and the tact to ask questions (example: how many times have you asked a guy to his face "how hung are you?" I would guess never. How many times have you received a compliment to your face and you say nothing, walk away or say "Sorry you are not my type"? I would guess never).

My main concern is the lack of sensitivity. Because you can sit in the comfort of your house it provides a false sense of security. Which in return allows some people to be rude, insensitive, and disrespect. People behave online in a manner they never would if the person was in their presence. The funny part or what I like to call Karma is that you 9 times out of 10 will run into that person when you least expect it and they get to point you out to all their friends as "the asshole from online".

I am all for technology. But how many times have you had a connection with a guy online and then it moves to email and then to texting, then you finally meet the guy and you feel nothing and he has nothing to say. But online he has tons to say.

I set up guidelines for myself and maybe you will do the same:

I limited the times I check my email throughout the day to twice a day.
I update or read my Facebook only once a week.
Various sites like Adam4Adam I might go on once a week.
I try to do a blog entry only when I have something to say.
I try to meet with my various friends at least once a week and I keep my phone in my pocket.
If I meet a guy online I want to meet him sooner than later instead of spending time emailing and texting.

I can't image my world without my iPod, Blackberry and my laptop but the interesting thing is that I without a second thought will leave all those things at home when I go on vacation....and I don't miss them. Try it for just one day, you would be shocked how you will not miss any of it.

HERE IS A CHALLENGE FOR YOU, GO JUST ONE DAY WITHOUT USING YOUR iPOD, MOBILE PHONE AND COMPUTER ONCE A MONTH. Go out and enjoy life, go have dinner with a friend, visit a museum or go on hike.

DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER AND THE "N" WORD

2010-09-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

As per Wikipedia - On August 10, 2010, Anita Hanson, an African American woman married to a white man, called Schlessinger's show to ask for advice on dealing with racial comments made by acquaintances. During the call, Schlessinger used the word "nigger" 11 times, saying that using the word was not racist, and continuing to use it after Hanson asked, "Is it ever OK to say that word?" Schlessinger attempted to justify her use by saying, "Black guys use it all the time." After the call Schlesinger said, "If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race." One day later Schlessinger apologized. Hanson questioned the motivation and sincerity of Schlessinger's apology, believing it to be result of being "caught". Hanson also said that Schlessinger made no apology regarding her comments on interracial marriage.

Schlesinger announced she would end her radio show at the end of 2010.

Dr. Laura is no stranger to controversy. Her views on homosexuality, race, religion, women and their roles and on and on has always got media attention but in a negative way. In regards to the end of her show, I only have two words........."Bye Bitch!" But in defensive of Dr. Laura she is entitled to her opinions. Once you voice that opinion you have to be willing to deal with the backlash.

Honestly I am confused as to why the caller (Anita Hanson) would call the Dr. Laura Show when she has in the past demonstrated racists views. The #1 fact that I am confused about is how did Dr. Laura get a show giving advice. She is has a Ph.D in Physiology not Psychology. So, shouldn't she be teaching Biology at the local college and not giving advice on a nationally syndicated radio show? INFORMATION IS ONLY AS GOOD AS IT'S SOURCE. Asking Dr. Laura for advice is like asking Hitler to give advice on race relations.

The whole Dr. Laura fiasco prompted me to really think about the "N" word.

I am 42 and the product of parents who were young adults during the civil rights movement. So, since birth I knew the "N" word was a word to create pain. A word to made to insult. A word made to inflict fear. A word made to someone feel like a second class citizen or not human at all. 100s or 1000s of people have died over this word. Not from the word itself but died for being of African decent.

The comedian Chris Rock stated in his stand-up act says "I love black people but I hate the n@gg$*s". Most of the Black people make a distinct difference between "Black people" and "N@gg$*s". I find that concept very interesting. I guess Obama would be considered "Black" and Flavor Fav would be considered a "n@gg$*.

I know for some the use of the "N" word is confusing. Especially when you hear African Americans use that word with each other. Especially when the rap genre of music pretty much uses the word in a lot of their songs. A friend said to me "Blacks using the "N" word is the same as women calling each other "bitch" or when gay men call each other "punk" or "fag". But if you don't fall in to the group of the racial or insensitive slur...then you can't use the word". That makes a lot of sense to me.

Honestly, I love a good racial joke...but it has to really be good.

I PERSONALLY DO NOT USE ANY RACIAL SLURS. Because of the history and pain behind the word...I JUST DON'T USE THE "N" WORD........ever...and I never will. In my experience of those that use the "N" I find the word is used out of ignorance (meaning environment), lack of education (meaning knowing the history behind the word) and life experiences (meaning those around you use the word so you just follow suit - "sometime it is hard to take a stand because you usually find you are standing alone).

TALK IT OUT - DON'T FIGHT IT OUT

2010-09-01T13:59:00.000-07:00

Effective at midnight on August 31, 2010 the war in Iraq is over. But, will there ever be "Peace in the Middle East"? War has existed in the Middle East since biblical times. These people are willing to die and kill for their cause. They will NEVER stop until they get want they want or die. Generation after generation will continue to fight as per their interpretation of the Koran.

I am still confused about this war. Where are the weapons of mass destruction?

Hell, we did not even get control over oil. Which in my opinion is the REAL reason as to why we were there.

I also believe that the #1 reason why we are in a recession is because of the money spent on the war. The housing crisis should not have sent us into a recession. The housing crisis would not have cause many banks and business to close their doors or file for bankruptcy.

Since the war stated on 3/19/2003 - 31,929 military and civilian contractors have been wounded. 1,366,350 military and civilian contractors have lost their lives. Why? For a stupid, sense-less, unnecessary, egotistical, Bush family feud.

President Clinton was impeached for cheating on his wife. Why can't President Bush go to jail for lying to US citizens for the reasons behind the Iraq War?

For all the military and civilian personnel that serviced during this time for my freedom, liberty and justice...THANK YOU

LOS ANGEGLES vs. NEW YORK CITY

2010-08-31T17:45:00.000-07:00

I am originally from the Mid-west (Chicago to be specific) but I have lived in Los Angeles for the past 10 years. I moved to Los Angeles from New York City.

Many times I hear people complain about NYC. Comments like "the people are soo rude". 9 times out of 10 the comment is coming from someone who has NEVER lived in NYC or even visited. They are just making statements based on another person's experience. Well after repeatedly hearing some stupidity it prompted me to write this blog.

In my personal opinion (someone who has lived in or visited pretty much every major city in the USA - Chicago, Boston, NYC, Atlanta, Miami, San Francisco, Houston, Seattle, Philly - not to mention cities in other countries like London, Paris, Madrid, Barcelona and on and on - you get the picture), the people of Los Angeles are far more rude. There are many things I love about Los Angeles (or should I say - I love about California). But my list of the things I dislike is a longer list.

The things I like about Los Angeles:

Sunny weather all year round.
The mountains, hills and valleys
The beaches (every time I go to the beach I see whales, dolphins are some other sea life).
Celebrity sightings.
Movies com out in LA before any other city.
San Diego is only a 2 hour drive away - San Francisco is a 1 hour flight. In the winter skiing is only a 1 hour drive away.
I am NEVER bored in LA - something is always going on.

The shit I totally dislike about Los Angeles:

Traffic
The city of Los Angeles just does not have a "vibe".
Lack of creative architecture
LA is not called the "Land of Flakes and Nuts" for nothing. The people here are notorious for flaking. In LA you most definitely have to have a plan B and C because plan A is not going to happen. I have never in my life meet sooo many nutty/crazy people.
People in LA are treated based on if you work in "the business" (entertainment) and which director, producer or actor you know. (Because the city is full of wanna-be writers, actors, producers, etc and they just want their big break and hope you can help them.)
Shallowness reins supreme - it is all about body beautiful, face, ass, and tits.
Materialism - if you don't drive a nice car you are not going to fit in. If you don't wear the latest fashion fade you will not fit in.
Rudeness/disrespect - it is totally acceptable in LA to NOT say "excuse me", "thank you", "sorry" and even giving someone direct eyes contact when you are talking to them.
The people of LA are rude but the funny thing is that they have the nerve to also be "fragile". If you say or do anything to bring that person to "reality", that is perceived as "you are soo mean or negative or aggressive".
Clones - every as the same hair style and clothes.

New York, New York!!!!!!!!!!!!! What I love about NYC:

The energy and vibe of the city. Each borough has it's own feel.
The people are such individuals.
The people are direct (I do not consider that rude).
Live theater (Broadway and off Broadway).
Music is always released first in NYC.
Fashion! man, this is the fashion capital of the US.
Diversity - every ethnicity under the sun lives in NYC.
HOT - naturally beautiful men and women.
Central Park
ALWAYS something to do.
You can get any type of food you want any time of the night.
If you wanted to you can party all night, you can the clubs close around 6 a.m.
I don't have to drive, I have a choice between a taxi or the subway.

What I dislike about NYC

Cost of living and what you get for your money.
Sometimes it is just overwhelming - too many people and stuff going on.

At the end of the day, I live in Los Angeles and although I have never felt at home here, it is home for now and I make the best of any situation.

Again, this is just my experience, go to LA and NYC and experience for yourself.

WHAT IS "LOVE" ? !

2010-08-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

I have been in 4 relationships. And I have never been in "love". I loved the men I dated just like I do my friends and family. But I have never experience the type of love that people write songs, books, and movies about. Hell, some people have commit murder in the name of love.

So when Prop 8 was deemed as unconstitutional, I started to think, "Who would want to marry me?", "Hell, have I ever dated anyone I would actually marry?" It caused me to think about my past relationships.

Relationship #1 - I was only 20 years old. I had no idea what I wanted in a man. All I threw is that this man wanted me and I wanted him. We were both "young, dumb and full of cum", so we went 100 mph forward into the unknown. The relationship latest for about 1 year. It was my first "love" or as some call "puppy love".

Relationship #2 - I was 27 years old. I had a crush on this guy. And unbeknown to me he had a crush on me. One night he was drunk and confessed his feeling while we were at the same party. But he had a boyfriend at the time. So, I quickly dismissed the entire incident and told no one about it. A few month later he was single (but still living with his boyfriend). Long story short, the boyfriend moved out of state and he moved in with me. Again, another relationship that moved 100 mph forward. As I look back I wondered "why did I get into that relationship to begin with?" And I have to be honest with myself I know exactly why I moved so quickly:

He was HOT. And I could not believe someone that hot wanted me. BUT so fucking boring. He never talked or had an opinion. It was like dating a deal mute. He had not a drop of personality. But he was hot and wanted me.
They guy I was dating prior to meeting my future bf dumped me to get back with his ex and I felt rejected and lonely.

This relationship lasted for over 1 year and man on man was there alot of drama (because of his friends). But I finally woke up and the rest is history.

Relationship #3 - This guy was soo funny. I enjoyed spending time with him. We would be silly and just laugh and laugh. Hanging out with was like hanging out my a friend. The sex was amazing. But at the end of the relationship I realized his feeling for me where not about "love" it was about "lust" and because he was a person that cannot be single. We were together for one year. I honestly thought we would continue to be a couple regardless of our issues. We got back together after the first time we broke up and then time the relationship last another year. Total for two years. Currently we are not friends....long story. As of today I am utterly disappointed but not shocked about the latest situation. Why was I in a relationship with him period:

Because I suffer from severe low esteem, he made me feel attractive.
We had soo much fun together, he made me feel like a child again.

Relationship #4 - This guys is the sweetest, nicest, smartest person I have ever meet. From the moment I first met him I saw this "glow" around his entire body. I knew he would forever be in my life. To this very day he continue to be the same person he was when I meet him 5 years ago. We are no longer a couple but he is indeed one of my best friends. Why did I move forward into this relationship:

I thought it was not going to get any better than this guy so I tied him down before anyone else could get him.
I meet him during a time that I had lost complete hope in that their were nice guys in Los Angeles. So again when I meet him I had to keep him.

I say all of this (providing my dating history) because I am beginning to wonder that as we experience life, dates various types of guys, mature (grow up) we (or should I say "I") realized that "love" is not going to happen for everyone. I have a friend who is now 47 years old and he has never been in a relationship and his last date was probably back when Carter was president LOL. I have another friend in which he and his partner have been together for 12 years. You can feel the energy of love the minute you enter their house. They still behave as if they just meet. That is what I want. But is it in the "cards" for me to find love?

I believe the world has to be balanced. Some people have to be sick and some will be healthy. Some people will be poor and some will be rich. Some will find love and the other will be on a search for love.

Maybe I am one of those that will be on a search for love.

Stud Muffin of the Week: PASHA

2010-08-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was watching the local news and thinking about going to West Hollywood to celebrate the over turning of Prop 8 but no one wanted to go. So, I ended up watching this show called..................

I had never watched the show before. But one dancer in particular got my attention. Hence, this blog entry.

Stud Muffin Of The Week

PASHA

Pasha is from Russia and this HOT Eastern European specializes in Latin dances such as the Tango. Well, this gap tooth, cleft chinned stud got my attention. He teaches dance in Manhattan. And with his dance partner they are now in the professional dance circuit.

PROP 8 OVERTURNED

2010-08-04T22:55:00.000-07:00

Today in California "Prop 8" was over turned as unconstitutional......"O Happy Day!" Thank you Judge Vaughn Walker (appointing this judge to office is the only good thing President Reagan did for gays in this country - while he was Governor of CA.).

My feelings on this issue are obvious as stated in past blog entries. But, just to establish my opinion again, "I want equal rights for EVERYONE. Marriage is a legal procedure. If you decide to have the ceremony in a church, you have then just decided to have a legal procedure conducted in a religious manner."

Historically the majority has voted against most social issues (i.e Abortion, Minorities right to fair housing, Minorities right to fair education, Minorities in the Military, Women in the military, Minorities right to marry Whites, Women's right to vote and many more) and our judicial system has always had to intervene. What type of country would we be if our Supreme Court had not upheld the constitution?

As for the Mormon (who put up millions of dollar to spread hate and discrimination) and other religious groups, I have only two word for you.......................................F#$* Y&!

The sad fact about the Mormon faith is that they fled to Utah to have a safe place to live and practice their religion. Because across the country they were being discriminated against and in some instances killed. But, instead of learning from what happened to them they do the total opposite and discriminate against another group of people. Good job Mormon, I am sure your God will be very proud of you.

Instead of using the millions they spend on schools, hospitals, the poor etc they used the money to spread hate. You all will go out in the history books for this offense. And be an embarrassment for future Mormons.

But, its okay, the weak get stronger and in this case the weak won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best Show on cable: TRUE BLOOD

2010-07-09T20:29:00.000-07:00

True Blood is in it's 3rd season. I have enjoyed the show since day one. And it has not disappointed yet.
Alan Ball is the director and writer. He also directed and wrote Six Feet Under. He is also a out and proud gay man.

THE WRITING ON THIS SHOW IS ABOVE AND BEYOND. The dialogue is soo real, soo funny, soo honest but not predictable.

If you have never watched the show, it is not too late. You might be able to catch series 1 and 2 on the HBO website or purchase the DVDs.

The show is about a waitress Sookie (who is also telepathic / played by Anna Paquin) who falls in love with a vampire Bill (played by Stephen Moyer).

No, don't think Twilight. This is a vampire story for adults. Actually the storyline comes from books written way before Twilight called Southern Vampire Mystery.

I am not going to go into great detail because I don't want to spoil anything for those you plan to start watching the show. But I do want to give a "shout out" to the characters I enjoy.

Jason (Sookie's brother) - he is drop-dead gorgeous, beautiful body, womanizer, dumb as rocks and just a "man-whore". His sex scenes are the best. He has no issues showing off his body especially his ass.
No frontal nudity...I wish.

Tara - (Sookie's best friend since childhood, co-worker and roommate) - This girl has A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E and I love it. She is a bartender at the local tavern. She says all the stuff we are thinking. She takes no shit.

Lafayette - (Tara's GAY cousin, cook at the tavern and the town's drug dealer of V {vampire blood - it makes humans feel high like the drug ecstasy}). This brother is flamboyant but yet masculine all in one. He is my favorite character on the show. He steals every scene he is a part of. He will have a prosperous career.
There is A LOT going on with him, so check it out.

Eric - Blond Aryan type Vampire, bad guy who is Bill's arch enemy and out to make Sookie his own.

Pam - Eric's partner in crime - she has the best one liners. And she is also a lipstick lesbian. The dialogue between her and any of the other character is always a LOL moment of shock and aw.

Jessica - She is what we you a "newborn". She is under the care of Bill. She is all of 18. Her innocence and frustration is the cutest thing to watch as she learns her way around being a new vampire.

Trust me, if you have not tuned into this show you are missing out.

I give HBO an standing ovation. They always bring IT.

NOTHING ON TELEVISION

2010-07-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

OK, I was gone for a while. I was very busy with school at UCLA. Now that school is out and I have more free time, I have been trying to catch up on some of the shows I use to watch religiously. To my surprise a lot of the show I loved have been canceled or aired their series finale. Other than the shows I am about to talk about ......there is NOTHING ON TELEVISION.

HEROES - canceled

I loved the show but then something happened. It became to hard to keep up with all the new character and their powers. Not to mention who was a good guy or bad guy. So, I lost interest BUT it started out really good. I was looking forward to catching up with what I missed.

Ugly Betty - canceled.

I was soo shocked. Just like every Homo in the USA....I loved this show. Maybe like Sex and the City, they will make a movie....maybe?! I am hoping. I am praying.

Betty was the moral fiber of the show. She is the one that learned and taught a moral lesson each week.

The actress that portrays Betty is actually a good actress - America Ferrera

Since I was a child I have ALWAYS loved villains. So of course I fell in love with Wilhelmina played by Vanessa Williams (dethroned Miss America 1985 - The first Black woman to win). How could you not love this diva with the striking Blue eyes (yes Blue - some Black people to have Blue eyes...Google it LOL). She fought tooth and nail to take over the magazine. In the end...they just gave it to her.

The most beautiful tit bit about the show it not the Knight in Shiny Armour / Womanizing Playboy and heir to the magazine company.... Daniel Mead ( played by Eric Mabius)

No... it is Justin (played by Mark Indelicato). He is the gay nephew of Betty. The family was so embracing and accepting of him. It was such a beautiful thing to see. There were a few episodes that actually made me cry....okay not cry but it touched my heart.

The comedy relief outside of Betty was definitely the duo of Amanda (played by Becki Newton) and Marc (played by Michael Urie). Amanda was the receptionist and fag hag to Marc. Marc was Wilhelmina's assistant and evil side kick. Amanda and Marc together had me LingOL every week.

I will definitely miss the show and will definitely get all the episodes on DVD.

The Tudors - series finale

I have always loved history. King Henry VIII is definitely a character that even the average person would know about. We all know about his six wives. We all know he is the father of Queen Elizabeth I. Anyway, this series on ShowTime was amazing. The acting, the costumes, the story line......Outstanding.

The show and the actor the portraying the King (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) have won many awards.

This is another series I must have on DVD.

BUT, hope is NOT lost. On HBO there is a show that is unpredictable, funny, good drama, good acting, sexy and I can't get enough of it.

Stay tuned for my next entry dedicated solely to True Blood.

DELAY

2010-05-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the lack of entries into my blog. I have been extremely busy with school at UCLA. Once I get the time I have A LOT more on my mind to share.

Archie Comics' Kevin Keller, The New Gay Kid on the Block, Gets a Thumbs Up - AOL News

2010-04-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

Archie Comics' Kevin Keller, The New Gay Kid on the Block, Gets a Thumbs Up - AOL News

MY BLOG

2010-04-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

THIS IS MY 5OTH BLOG ENTRY. I started in January 2010.

I started my blog as a way to vent my views on life. My blog talks about anything that enters my mind from sex, current events, politics, fashion, tv/movies, music, religion, past experiences and just life overall.

The purpose of my blog is strictly therapeutic for me. My blog is NOT meant to endorse, judge, offend, encourage or disrespect anyone else or their opinions.

Since I have started this blog I have noticed that quite a few guys follow my blog. The number seem to increase or decrease. The number of "followers" or lack of, is totally not an issue for me. I write this blog for myself. If others read it and enjoy it, great, and I am glad you enjoy reading about my thoughts.

I have received positive and negative comments. I definitely welcome a difference of opinions. I will not respond to or post any comments that are disrespectful, rude, insensitive or insulting. There is enough negativity in the World, and I have chosen to not be a part of it.

For those the read my blog......THANK YOU.

Stud Muffin of the Week: MARK WAHLBERG

2010-04-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

This week's stud is Mark "Don't call me Marky Mark" Wahlberg.

This stud started out as a Rapper (Marky Mark and the Fucky Bunch).

Instantly became a hot Calvin Klein model.

Today he is considered one of the top leading actors. He hangs out with Clooney and Pitt. He is from Boston. He is actually Swedish, Irish and French Canadian....Not German. He has been in such hits as "Boogie Night", "The Italian Job", and "Departed". The HBO show Entourage is actually about his life moving to LA and becoming an actor. He is the Executive Producer. He is also the Executive Producer of the show "In Treatment" on HBO. But what most don't know is that he was offered the role in Brokeback Mountain. I am disappointed to report, he turned down the role because of the sex scenes...DAMMIT!

And has managed to keep that hot body along the way.

DECEMBER 21, 2012

2010-04-09T19:30:00.000-07:00

According to the Mayan Calendar, the World will end on Dec, 21, 2012. Others like Nostradamus have also predicted that exact same date. The movie, 2012 was entertaining but was it realistic?. Most scientist believe nothing will happen on that date. BUT, WHAT IF THE SCIENTIST ARE WRONG AND THE MAYANS ARE RIGHT?

I think about all the people/scientist that believed the world was round and not flat and were put to death. I think about all the people/scientist that said the Earth rotates around the sun and were put to death. I think about the people/scientist that said man evolved from ape that they were pushed out of the science community. A LOT of people/scientist were laughed at, put to death or seen as outcast...and we all now know they were absolutely 100% correct.

This year we (meaning Earthlings) have experience quite a few earthquakes (Haiti, Chile, Mexico and Indonesia), floods (Brazil), tsunamis and other strange weather occurrences (snow and/or cold in places that are usually hot and hot in places where it is normally cold). This may or may not be associated with Global Warming (although the Republicans believe it does not exist - and the top scientist on the planet state it is indeed happening).

Along with strange weather, it seems like all countries have been experiencing great financial difficulty. Entire cities and countries are "broke". More and more people are starving and homeless. People are beginning to not believe in their government and rebelling. Nostradamus predicted all of this.

I am the type of person that prefer truth and facts/evidence. I pride myself on looking at both sides of the coin. I don't know what to believe. But I do know a few things: If the Mayans and Nostradamus are correct, I am planning a major party on Dec, 20, 2012. If the Scientist are right, good! Because I have a list of things I want to do before I die.

ON-LINE NIGHTMARES

2010-04-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

If you talk to any person that has tried to find friendship, love, sex and/or a date on-line, I am 100% sure they have a funny or fuck-ed up story to share. I have had some great experiences on-line (example: I meet my ex on Adam4Adam.com). But most of my experiences have been awful.

Every generation has a name like the "Baby Boomers" or "Generation X". I think the next generation should be called the "www Generation".

We use computers for everything. There are people who claim to be addicted to being on-line. My internet was down for about 7 days and I felt soo free. At first I panicked thinking "Oh lord, what will I do without being able to go to the various site I use (mostly out of habit)". But, with each day that past, I begin to no longer feel like I was missing anything.

I was at dinner last night with a good friend and we were reminiscing about our on-line experiences. Looking back at the moment I was pissed. Now, I can look back and laugh.

Here are a few of the incidents:

I always have a clear picture of myself on all of my profiles. And I always list my ethnicity. Well, this particular guy failed to read my profile (reading is fundamental LOL). He sent all type of sexual messages and I responded. He asked "Where are you from". I told him. He asked "No, where are you from originally". I gave him the same answer. Long story short - he thought I was Asian, specifically Filipino. His was a White guy that loved Asians. When I told him I am a Black man (yes I am mixed and on the light side but nonetheless Black). He said, "I am not attracted to Black men, you tricked me, you must have altered your picture. I felt no need to even respond to such racist foolishness and just "blocked" him. Block is the best feature on most sites LOL.

I was chatting with a hot tattooed Latino guy, he was very sweet and shy. We talked about everything except sex (he would not answer my sexual questions). He made it clear he was the dating type not the hookup type. So we exchanged emails and continued to keep in touch with the hopes of exchanging phone number and meeting face-to-face. After a week of sending emails back and forth we finally talk on the phone. He was indeed sweet and shy. We made plans to meet for coffee the next day. That night I decide to go to a sex club. Are you ready for this? I went into one of the booth surrounded by glory holes. I look into the booth next to me, low and behold, who do I see with his ass pressed up against the glory hole....the "sweet, shy, I am the dating type" Latino guy. I quickly existed the booth to go to the next one so that I could see if he was being rimmed or getting fucked. Yup, he was getting fucked. I left immediately. The next day he called as schedule so that we could confirm our coffee date....I canceled and never called him back.

I was chatting with a guy on a site and we had such great conversation. I was actually excited about meeting him. We meet for coffee that every next day after chatting online. In his profile he stated he was 45 years old. When we meet he looked ok but definitely not 45. Obviously earlier pictures. During coffee he states I he is actually 56. He is probably 60. Although he seem like a nice guy, that pissed me off. I hate a lair (don't fucking mislead me). I am honest and expect the same in return.

This was a hookup site, I was chatting with a guy. He was to the point about what he wanted and wasted no time inviting me over. We talked on the phone he seem normal. This guy's pictures were HOT. Hot Italian guys with muscular body and bubble butt. I got to his house in the Hollywood Hills (great house). He comes to the door and I am thinking "were the fuck is the hot Italian with the muscular body?" At the door in front of me was a guys who in-shape but definitely not a body builder like in the picture. The guy is in jeans, he invites me in, I go in thinking "maybe he is just a friend and the hot Italian is inside". I am walking behind him and I see nothing but a flat ass. "Where is the bubble butt?" I ask the guy, "are you the guy I was chatting with on-line?" He say, "Yipe, it's me". I tell the guy "sorry this is not going to work" turn around and walk out the door. The guy was okay looking but again, I hate a fucking lair. I could have gone ahead and fucked him silly, but I did not want him to think it was okay to mislead me.

Hookup site - I am chatting with this guy. We had chatted many times before but the timing was never right. Finally we meet, I go to his apartment. He answers the door, he looks the way his pictures indicates. But something just isn't right, he is way to hyper and talkative. I walk into his apartment and holy shit, there are clothes, papers, and dirty dishes EVERYWHERE. The place had not been cleaned in at least 1 year (yes a year). Come to find out this guy was a meth addict and all he did all day and night was smoke meth. I was afraid to touch anything, hell I could not even see the floor or the furniture. So, I told him I needed to get my phone from the car and never came back. I felt bad but I did not want him to think I was judging him but fuck man, that place was the city dump. I hope he got help and went to rehab.

Have you ever been blocked? I am usually multi-tasking when I am online. And although I might log into a particular website, most of the time I forget to log out. One time in particular I forgot to log out. I went to the movies and came back. I get to my computer and responded to messages. This one guy send me at least 5 messages. I could not respond because he blocked me. His last message stated "I guess you are not interested, sorry I bothered you".

There is a guy I chat with all the time. But when I see him in public he does not talk to me. So, finally I asked him "why don't you talk to me when you see me at the gym but yet you have plenty to say on-line". He stated he is shy and being online is easier for him. To this day, he will see me in public but only talks to me online. Strange right? At first I thought "I will go up to him and make him talk to me but something is making me just keep our conversations online".

How many of you get guys with no pictures responding to your profile? I get alot. There is a guy who sends me messages every time I go online to that particular site. The scary thing is, there are times he states he saw me like at the gym, movies, club, and lately the grocery store. But, I have no idea who he is or what he looks like. So, now I do not chat with guys who do not have a picture or profile filled out.

I have a profile on most of the popular sites. Now that I am Poz, I have a profile on some of the Poz sites. The scary/fucked up fact is, on the mainstream gay sites, I see guys who list themselves as HIV Negative. But yet they have a profile on the Poz site (most ask u to state how long have you been Poz). I have always been open to dating Poz guys when I was Negative. When I was Negative, I chatted with a guy I meet online for a good month. Then we moved to talking on the phone. Because of his work schedule it was a good week after our first conversation before we meet face-to-face. Anyway, on my way to the coffee shop to meet him he calls me. I am thinking he is calling to say he is running late. Oh no, he calls and says, "You might not want to meet me after I tell you this, I am HIV Poz". I told him don't worry about it and we meet and had great conversation. To this day on the same site he states he is HIV Negative. He and I never dated...just no connection for me.

Last week I was chatting with a guy about current events, he blocked me because I am for Health Care Reform and he is not. Wow!

I meet a guy on eHarmony. This guy was ready to marry me. I was sooo excited about what the future could bring. I got tested the same week I meet him. He asked me out again and I told him about the test results. I am honest and to the point. He asked me out for a second date. And at that point I feel morally obligated to disclose to him I was newly positive. I never heard from him again. One month later he sent me an rejection email and the rest is history....I am still single.

I completely understand that people can re-invent themselves online. They can be whoever/whatever they want to be. My policy is not all they rare or complex. Actually it is simple. I say who I am and display a true picture of myself. It is just easier to be 100% myself. The rest is up to the guy who responds to my profile. Either he likes me or not.

I came out in 1986, we only had computers at work. We met at clubs, parties, they gym, on the street, work, or via friends. What you see was what you got. That does not happen anymore.

I have one simple word:

GAY PORN vs STR8 PORN

2010-03-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am a BAD gay man. I do not own any porn. I don't have any movies or magazines. Go ahead, revoke my "gay membership card".

What bought about this blog entry was my trip to Las Vegas. As my friends and I walked from theme hotel/casino to the next, I was surrounded by young ladies essentially dressed as porn stars or hookers. They had on the hooker pumps, mini-skirts and silicone tits could be seen miles down the strip.

I am not complaining, it was very entertaining because I love to "people watch". The guys were just plain and boring. They typically had on jeans with a un-tucked Banana Republic dress shirt. Too bad dick bulging jeans are not in style LOL. It is also interesting how in the animal kingdom the male species are the colorful/flamboyant ones. But the the human species the females are the colorful/flamboyant ones. As I logged on to my laptop to catch up on my emails and reading my favorite blogs. I saw how a lot of guys have dedicated their blog to porn. So I checked out the blogs and went to some of the porn companies site.

I saw that some guy prefer straight porn. I do enjoy the sight of watching a dick slam into a wet pussy. I also enjoy watching the humping of the man's ass. The fake screams and moans from the women actually make me laugh. In Straight porn it is all about the women. The man's face is seldom shown.

Gay porn.....man there is soo much to choose from. A friend told me if you go to the video store it is divided into race, themes, genres and/or porn company. In LA this drag queen is a big time gay porn director "Chi Chi La Rue". He/She is also a dj and has a "anything gay you might need" store. LOL.

The big difference I notice is that in gay porn the guys are more fit and hot. In Straight porn the guys just have to be willing to be in a porn movie. Look at Ron Jeremy. This guy is not attractive in any sense of the word. But, he was a big time porn star.

The porn industry make Billions a year.....yes Billions. Gay porn actors make more than Straight porn actors. That is why you have a lot of performers/actors that are "gay for pay".

Are the "Guys gone Wild" videos any good?

The other thing I noticed is that the acting sucks with both gay and straight porn.

I remember watching "Sex and the City" and the girls got together at Samantha's apartment to watch gay porn. Who knew that straight women liked gay porn or is that just Hollywood's opinion.

Okay, something got my attention but not in a good way. I saw a advertisement for twins who have sex with ...yes each other. I am not an uptight person but that is just wrong. I am not turned on by watching incest.

Technology, man I love it, now you don't have to go to the video store. You can just watch or buy online. I would do that but I have no idea what to buy. Any recommendations/suggestions?

2010-03-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

LEATHER: The Other Form of Drag

2010-03-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

The Leather Community is a very interesting group of guys. A group that has their own dress code, hanky color codes, terminology, clubs, flag, and gay pride events. Just like any community or fraternity. They are a community within a community. This group of guys range anywhere in age, body type, education level, and profession. But, they all seem to have one thing in common. They all love most things that are hyper-masculine .
I don't think I have ever meet a queenie leather guy. Although I found this picture during Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.

There are soo many fetish that fall under the umbrella of "leather". Here are a few:

Rubber Fetish
Latex Fetish
Uniform Fetish
Traditional Leather
Sports Wear Fetish
Boot Fetish
Role Play Fetish
Bondage
Bears
For some reason guys who are into Western attire fall into this community.
CBT (Cock and Ball Tortune)
S&M
too many to list.

A large number of guys assume the Leather Community is all about sex (extreme/kinky type). Or that these guys are misfits because they don't fit until the mainstream of what gay means according to stereotypes. If you have a conversation with the average Leather man he will usually talk about brotherhood".

I have lived in Chicago and San Francisco. Both cities have a very large and active Leather Community.

Every year Chicago has an event called International Mr. Leather (IML) - (http://www.imrl.com/). This event brings in leather men from all over the world. And it also brings out guys who are participating in the events/parties just for that weekend a year. Just like some guys dress up in drag as a women once a year for Halloween. This event is ALOT of fun (I higly recommend it even if you are not into leather....just a alot of fun with a group of barely clothed, friendly men). There is a group in Chicago called Onyx (They are a group of Black and Latino Leather men). They throw the BEST party every year during IML (it is a must).

San Francisco has event every year called Folsom Street Fair and Up your Alley. Both events info at: http://www.folsomstreetfair.com/. Folsom Street Fair brings in ALL types of people. This event has become soo mainstream that it is the one of the top glossing event in for the city of San Francisco. But is has also become more tame because of the more and more Heterosexual attendance and participation. Up Your Alley is become the event for more extreme exhibitionist. You have to experience both at least twice (1st time just attend and observe - 2nd time dress up and have fun).

My first introduction to Leather was a Tom of Finland picture in Mandate Gay Magazine when I was 14 years old. Every since then I have had a fascination for the images Tom of Finland created. I would love to go to more leather clubs. Since my friends don't go to those type of clubs and I don't like going out alone, I don't go that often. It is strange how I can go out alone in another city but in the city where I live I cannot go out alone. My "thang" are uniforms and boots.

Here are a few of the Tom of Finland images I enjoy:

TATTOOS - Painful Expression of Art and Individuality

2010-03-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

I have had a fascination with tattoos since the first time I saw them as a child. I don't know if my fascination is a way to rebel against my upper middle class, conservative upbringing/environment. Or maybe my 10 years in the Navy. Whatever the reason, I love them.

I know that tattoos are trendy, but the art form has been around for 4,000 years. It is soo trendy that even the New Yorker Magazine did a cover and article in 2005.

I got my first at the age of 24. I got my second tattoo 2 week later. Many years later at the age of 38 I got my 3rd tattoo. At the age of 41 I got my 4th. My tattoos each have a special meaning just to me. I love each of my tattoos and I have no regret. The really interesting fact is that I am a professional, clean-cut guy and no one would EVER guess that underneath my suit and tie I have tattoos. My intentions are to have a full sleeve (just one).

There is nothing like a hot guys with great tattoos.

Here is my tribute to hot guys with tattoos.

POLITICS:: A Country Divided.

2010-03-22T16:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, it is time for me to get on my "soap box".

I spent a great deal of time Sunday watching CNN. I was confused, frustrated, happy and pissed all at the same time. What is happening to OUR country? Who are these idiots we elected? How can we really make a change for the better?

First of all we are NOT a Democracy, we are a Republic. We just hold our elections in the form of a Democracy.

I am NOT happy with the Democrats or the Republicans. Neither party is doing a good job. Politicians are elected to represent us (the citizen). They are there to enforce and protect are rights base on the U.S. Constitution and our Bills of Rights/Amends. They are there as our voice and eyes. BUT once elected they forget why they are there.....We are their boss. The politicians gets into office and enforce their own agenda. IT IS ABOUT WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT NOT WHAT YOU WANT OR THINK IS RIGHT. We need to have a better selection process when it come to voting. The first step is that citizens need to pay closer attention to whom they elect for local, state and federal level.

Democrats are the majority in the House and the Senate. But, they don't have the balls to stand up to the Republicans.

Republican use to be the party of the open-minded, the liberals and the educated. They are the party that gave Women and Blacks the right to vote. They are the party that ended slavery. WTF happened? Now they are the party of "no" to everything. And I cannot help but think that is largely because our new president is a Black man. Now the party seem to be racist, uneducated, religious, ultra-conservative and close-minded citizens.

I don't consider myself Democrat or Republic. When I vote I pick the best person for the job. A good idea is a good idea. I don't care where it came from. It is more logical for me to be in the "Middle". Being all the way to the "Left" is extreme, being all the way to the "Right" is extreme.

The event this weekend that made this blog entry possible from Health Care Reform. When will politicians understand that not everything has to be about making money. You cannot make a profit on everything and why would you want to me a profit on someone's health. Studies have shown that there are more Americans without medical insurance or not enough coverage. And those that have complete coverage are paying a lot of money. Insurance companies can raise their rates and implement what they will and will not cover. Studies have also shown that the people who are happy with their insurance have never had to use it. And nothing about their coverage will change except it will be more affordable. So if that person is diagnosed with Cancer, guess what? Your rates are going to be increased and possibly a drug or procedure you need is not covered. So, take a person who is healthy and has no insurance (their employer does not offer insurance or they are a small business owner) and is now sick. The chances of finding health care insurance is impossible. Why? Because the insurance companies will consider that a "pre-existing condition". So that person either pays out of pocket, get treated at a non-profit organization specialized in that medical issue or dies. I know ALOT of people say "I don't want to pay for other people's health care". Well maybe I am idealistic but the rich is suppose to take care of the poor. The educated are suppose to teach. The healthy are suppose to take care of the sick. Every American having insurance and the chance to live a long healthy life, now THAT is the American way.

For the first time in a long time the Democrats are the majority in the House of Representative and The Senate and the President is Democrats. I say "kick some Republican ass and give us what we want."

Okay Mr. President, check Health Care Reform off the list. Next....Gays being able to marry in all 50 states.

At the end of the day, we are all citizens. We all live in the same country. We all want our country to be the best it can be. Wanting President Obama to fail just because he is Democrat, means you want our country to fail. Wanting President Obama to fail because he is Black, means you want our country to fail. If you don't vote and have no opinion, you want our country to fail.

BISEXUALITY: REAL or LATEST TREND

2010-03-19T01:49:00.000-07:00

BISEXUAL

Whatever you want to call it, it equates to a person who enjoys sex with both men and women.

The Gay Community has mixed feeling about if someone is truly bisexual. Some gays might say “pick one”. Some might say “you are gay and just in denial or not ready to come out”. Some might say “Being Bisexual is just a stepping stone to becoming fully gay”. I have a totally different view. I believe there are some who are truly heterosexual. Some who are fully homosexual. And yes some who are truly bisexual. Sexuality is not just Black and White. There is a lot more Gray then most will admit.

For quite some time I have noticed on various websites (Criagslist, Manhunt, Adam4Adam) a demand for guys who consider themselves Straight or Bi. And some want guys who are married. Some gay men have gone soo far as to falsely advertise themselves as Straight or Bi in order to attract others who claim they are also straight or Bi. That aspect does bother me, just because I hate a liar. Don’t fucking purposely mislead me. If I like you - I like you rather you are gay, straight, or bisexual. Hot is hot. And being straight it not better than being gay.

It is amazing to me how women have no problems in talking about their physical and/or sexual attraction to other women. And they will even tell you they have “experimented” in the past. But men, will never admit that they are physically and/or sexually attracted to another man. I believe in the core of my heart that people are more Bisexual than Heterosexual. I have had sex with both and enjoyed it immensely.

Earlier I was reading Breeding Jock’s blog http://www.breedingjock.com/ and his entry about a married, bi guy reminded me about some of my past experiences with Bi or Straight men.

In my experience I have noticed that with Bi mean they will fuck any pussy. Pussy is pussy. But they are extremely particular about the guy they mess around with. Some Bi men look at:

· Level of masculinity (some like a guy who is not as masculine as they are or they want a guys who is at their same level or masculinity but definitely don’t want a guy that is more masculine then they are).

· Height (Don’t want a guy taller than me)

· Weight (Don’t want a guy who is bigger than )

· Body hair (prefer smooth)

· Privacy / discretion / trust (They must believe you will tell anyone)

Most of the Bi/Straight men I have encountered are only interested in getting a bj or topping. They are not into kissing or reciprocating orally or bottoming. And never do you talk about emotions or talk about being gay.

The times I have encountered a Bi guy that wanted to give me a kiss or bj, In the back of my mind I always considered him gay.

In my experience when gay and bi men play together it is definitely about fantasy for the gay guy. For the Bi/Straight guy it is more about being serviced / worshipped.

In my experience Bi/Straight guys do not go to gay clubs. And rarely will they not frequent gay website and if they do there is not face pix available and he will not email it to you.

I have a lot of experience with men who consider themselves Bi or straight. My first lover of 2 years considered himself Straight. And as of today, he is married with two kids and claims I am the first and only man he has ever had sex with. (more about this story in another blog entry – I hinted about him in my Gays in the Navy – Part 1).

In a perfect world, we would not have terms such as homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual. IF society was not soo uptight and quick to label people, I feel more people would just consider themselves “sexual”.

Stud Muffin of the Week: ALEX RODRIGUEZ

2010-03-18T01:40:00.000-07:00

This weeks' stud muffin is:

ALEX RODRIGUEZ

AKA - A ROD

Highest paid Baseball Player - $275 Million

Hot Dominican from NYC but raised in Miami

World Series Winner 2009

All Star Selection every year since 1996

MVP 2003, 2005 and 2007

Madonna's Ex boy-toy

Look at that carmel complexion and those amazing eyes. I must take a trip to the Dominican Republic if this is what they produce.

GAYs IN THE NAVY: A Seman's (I mean Seaman) Tale - Part 2

2010-03-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

Back Flash continued:

David and I are at the base club (Trade Winds) at Little Creek Amphibious Base in Norfolk Virginia. As he is giving me my "Homosexuality 101 Training" various guys are stopping by for conversation and introducing themselves. As I think about that night I remember David asking me one simple question, "Are you family or trade". I had no idea what he was talking about so I said, "I do not think we are related, are you from Chicago like me?" I recall he laughed so loud and said, "You are soo innocent". The club is now closed but David does not have a car and it is freezing cold and windy. We take the shuttle bus to the mail gate. Luckily he lived across the street from the base in a very nice apartment. Low and behold, the door bell rings around 3 a.m. and a one of the guys that stopped by at the bar is at the door. He had 5 other guys with him. They were all gay. We spend the rest of the night laughing, drinking, dancing and talking. And that boys and girls was my first day at my first duty station (a LST in Norfolk, VA).

Saturday:

It is now Saturday morning and there are gay sailors asleep on the bed, the floor and couch. We all got up and made breakfast. Then the group of us went shopping at the mall "Military Circle". We purchased outfits to go out to the club that night (no, not a gay club but the base clubs). I was only 18 so I could not get into the gay club. Unbeknown to me, Norfolk has the the largest Navy base in the USA. Every branch of the military also has a base in Norfolk. So if you take the number of gay soldiers, sailors, marines and fly boys - there is a lot of gay sex going on in Norfolk right on the base/ships. So there is never a need to go the gay club (unless you just want to see a drag show or go out dancing with the guys).

We are at the Norfolk Naval Base Petty Officer's Club, and now I am learning how to detect who is "trade". For the young ones, here is the definition of "trade:

Trade: a guy who considers himself straight but has sex with men. He does not go to gay clubs or has gay friends. Today we might use the term "DL - downlow".

Now David (my gay mother and queen of the boat), has strict guidelines about who is "Trade" and who is just gay. If you only like to get sucked and a top - you are "Trade". If you want to suck and get fucked or even kiss - you are "Gay or Bi".

I go the the head (military term for bathroom), and as I am in line, this hot ass Sailor is talking me me. Usually the conversation is about:

Where are you from?
What ship/command are you stationed?
What is your rank and specialty?
Do you live on base or out in town?
Roommates or alone?

So, I answered his questions and asked the same in return. I went to the urinal, he did the same. He finished before me and disappeared.

Now the club is closing and we are catching a ride with a "Family" member. Definition:

Family - a gay person you can trust...becomes like a brother.

As we are trying to make our way out of the club, the guy from the bathroom line appears. He is a little drunk. David suggest that he not drive and that he comes to his apartment to sober up. So, David drives the guy's car and I am in the back seat. On the way the guy is talking about how he is horny and in need of some pussy. And how none of the ladies were giving up any pussy that night. We make it to the apartment. Now that we are all alone I am seeing he was is not that drunk. I get tired and I fall asleep on the couch. David wakes me up and ask if I want to join him and the guy having sex or at least watch. I say, "I don't know what to do" and "what if he is not into me?"
David say, "Boy, please he was trying to pick you up in the bathroom line but you were too shy".

I go into the dark bedroom, the guys is willing and ready. He and I start to kiss, David is sucking his dick. Then we alternate position.

The guy is now ready to fuck some ass. I could tell he wanted me more over David. Hello, I am 18 and David is 38. This guy is about 25. David puts the guy on his back, and puts vaseline on the guys dick and his ass (this is 1986 I don't think lube existed yet). I watch in shock as David gets fucked. I was shocked and amazed. But honestly, I was confused. Confused because I did not know anything about anal sex. I did not know men got fucked in the ass. How do you even get it in? Does it hurt?

They both cum and fall asleep. And I go back to the couch dazed and confused.

Sunday -

All day we lounge around and just have a lazy day watching music videos and movies. Around 10 pm I go back to the ship. I am lying in my bunk on the ship and came to the realization that, "I cannot hide from being gay and I am going to stop running from it".

AND THAT WAS MY FIRST WEEKEND IN THE NAVY

More to come...

GAYs IN THE NAVY: A Seman's (I mean Seaman) Tale

2010-03-15T21:36:00.000-07:00

I am going to start a new series in which I re-cap my 10 years experience in the United States Navy. As memorable moment come to mind, I will write about it my this blog.

Back Flash - Why I joined the Navy:

After my freshman year of college ended I realized that yes I was indeed gay. I had not had sex with a guy yet but I knew 100% that I was emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to men. I was living in one of the most promiscuous cities at the time (Washington DC). It seemed like everyone was messing around in the parks, sex clubs, behind building, any place you could think of doing it. Because it was not socially acceptable yet to be "out" most guys blended into heterosexual society and messed around on the side. It is the 1986, everyday on the new they are talking about this "gay cancer" later re-named HIV/AIDS. I have always been afraid of death, and gay men were dropping like flies. I remember going out to the club (yes I was going out to gay clubs but not having sex....hard to believe but true) and lusting after a hot guy on the dance floor and 6 months later the guy was dead. I never wanted to be gay and I definitely did not want to die. So I was at wits end trying to figure out what should I do make myself heterosexual so that I would not get HIV and die. So, instead of going back to college I joined the Navy.

Back Flash - My First Duty Station

I checked into my first duty station. I had 2 seabags and 3 duffel bags (maybe that was a signal to the gay men on board). A very cute Sailor meet me at the pier and assisted with my bags - there was a strong sexual tension between us (more about that in another blog). I unpacked my bag and made my new sleeping quarter (my bunk) feel like home. Then I was given a tour of the ship about an extremely freckled red head that seemed to know everyone. I felt like a "piece of meat" as he introduced me to his "boys". I later found out that the purpose of the tour was to show me off and we were in search of the "queen of the ship".

Queen of the Ship - Definition: The rumored gay guy on the ship (everyone thinks/knows he is gay and they are cool with it because he is soo cool). Also has been on the ship longer than any of the other gay guys on the ship. The Queen of the Ship can give you the 411 on all the men (do's and don't).

We find the "Queen of the Ship". He is 5' 10", 38 years old, muscular body, best ass around, masculine but does gay stuff for shock value and everyone seemed to respect him. His name is David, and right then and there he take me under his wings and officially becomes my "Gay Mother". Mother because he is a bottom. Mind you I am only 18 years old. That night he took me out to the base club (Mother did not go to gay clubs). And we sit in a booth and he told me about each and every guy on the ship. The ones to stay away from, the ones you must know, gay slang, and how to stay in the Navy undetected and just basic rules of survival. Here are a few:

Don't "punk out" on base or on the ship. People can think whatever they want just don't give them evidence.
Don't kiss and tell - NEVER
Never ask another sailor if they are gay.
If you mess around with a guy that considers myself straight - enjoy the sex and leave your heart at home.
Never let a guy you are messing around with borrow money or use your car - that is a tell-tale sign the guy is using you.
Don't respond or react to rumors - don't let them see you sweat.
When asked "Are you gay" always respond "No".

He taught me soo much, I don't want to bore you guys, but stay tuned for more stories.

The main thing I want you guys to understand is that, the gay men in the military are like their own secret fraternity. We are brother. We are family. I have not meet one gay man that joined the military because they were out to transform straight guys or just looking for sex.

So, David where ever you are.....I am glad you are the first gay person I ever meet. Thanks for teaching me all about the gay life. I was in Navy before "Don't Ask - Don't Tell". When I first joined the Navy, you could be discharged for the suspicion of being gay and receive an dishonorable discharge. Thanks David, for keeping me safe.

Stay tuned for more stories to come.

Top/Bottom - Dom/Sub: WHO IS REALLY IN CONTROL?

2010-03-13T02:18:00.000-08:00

A lot of times when guys talk about sex the following words usually are mentioned:

Top or bottom
Control
Dom/Sub

Maybe I missed that day of class at the University of Homosexuality. Because for me sex has always been about giving and receiving pleasure. But, I do understand that a lot of guys get off on:

Role Play
Being Submissive - rape/forced sex
Being Dominate

Most porn operate on the premise of what is listed above. If you are a "Top" you are expected to be dominate/aggressive sexually and in personality. If you are a "Bottom" are are expected to be submissive/passive sexually.

I consider myself very lucky because when I was 18 years old, I meet a 36 year old man. This guy taught me everything about the gay life and gay sex. No, we did not have sex but (brace for shock), he allowed me to watch him have sex. The things I learned at 18 in my opinion still stand true today at the age of 42:

A guy's level of masculinity is not always a indication of if he is a top or bottom (I think a lot of guys who are ultra masculine get caught up in being a top because that is what is expected of them).
A guy's dick size does not indicate if he is a top of bottom (interesting enough, most of the guys I know that are really hung are bottoms).
If a guys has a dominate or submissive/passive personality does not mean he is dominate or submissive in bed. (I was in a 2 yrs LTR with this guy and everyone thought he was fucking me silly every night because he was masculine, muscular and the strong silent, take not shit type - well he is a bottom and passive in bed).

The concept of Topping and Bottoming is very interesting. Interesting because the average gay men will say "the top is the dominate one and the one in control". I totally disagree. Keep in mind I am mostly a top but will bottom in a LTR situation. The bottom is ALLOWING himself to be penetrated. IF you don't stimulate the bottom and give him what he wants....you don't get the ass. That sounds like control to me.

Some bottoms lie there and take a "pounding". Some dictate how they want to be fucked. Either way, the bottom is calling the shots.

Some tops like to lie back and let a bottom bounce on their dick. Some tops like to plow a bottom in every position in the Karma Sutra and only care about their own pleasure. Again, the bottom is allowing it to happen.

So if you are a passive bottom or a bossy bottom....you call the shots and I will give "it" to you any way you want it - because I want that ass LOL. Funny but true.

HIV - THE JUDGEMENT

2010-03-07T12:23:00.000-08:00

Friday night I usually meet a friend for movie, dinner and/or a drink. But this time I decided to stay home and just relax. There was absolutely nothing on television. So, I decided to update my iPod and download some new music from iTunes (very addictive). While doing so I logged on to the various gay sites (Gay.com, Adam4Adam, Manhunt and even Craigslist). I was not looking for sex or even a chat. I was just having a good time listening to music and reading (yes actually reading) the profiles.

Some of the profiles were very creative, funny or interesting. But after a while I begin to read a reoccurring theme. A lot of guys (not just a few), alot of guys wrote stuff like:

HIV Negative with date of results - and plan to stay that way.
Bug Free
Clean

For some reason this bothered me. First of all, if you have had sex since your test results how do I know you had sex safely. Unless you get tested on the way to my house, I consider you POZ. The plan to stay that way remark, I don't think anyone purposely went out to get HIV (yes there are a few but they are not the norm). That comment also lead me to believe that some how HIV POZ people are perceived as deceitful (not disclosing or purposed taking off a condom). Secondly, HIV is not a bug, it is a virus. And lastly, If a HIV negative person is "clean", does that mean a HIV POZ person is "dirty"?

Since I am newly POZ maybe I am being overly sensitive. But now that I think about it, those comments have always bothered me.

If you are HIV Negative, that is great and I truly hope you remain so. But I feel there is a lack of sensitivity and some form of negative judgment made about people who are HIV POZ. Or maybe unless it affects that person personally they just don't care.

Because most people contracted HIV from sex, I feel the average person has the thought "you did it to yourself, you should have been having safe sex" or "you should not have been a slut". It is all an assumption.

At the end of the day I know it is fear based (the assumptions - the judgments). But if you talk to anyone that is HIV POZ they will tell you, "I just want to be treated like everyone else - not special - not different - just fair and with respect".

So, if you are HIV Negative, please wear you HIV status proudly without putting POZs down to make yourself seem better, it wrong and insensitive.

Just as quickly as my life changed in one night from a broken condom, the same as happen to another. So think twice before you open or mouth or write a comment in one of your profiles online.

Stud Muffin of the Week: MARIO LOPEZ

2010-03-04T18:20:00.000-08:00

This week's stud muffin is MARIO LOPEZ.

Actor

Mario started off as a kid actor on "Saved by the Bell". Later he started as Greg Louganis in the biopic. Mario has had cameo's on various sitcoms and reality shows (Dancing with the Stars). He has a fitness book out and also co-host on the show "Extra".

He is a hot Mexican from San Diego, CA with an amazing body and dreamy dipples.

THE GYM

2010-03-03T20:30:00.000-08:00

All my life I have been fit. I was the type that could eat anything and everything and not gain one pound. Everyone would always say "Once you turn 30, it will all catch up to you". I was 5' 9" , 145lbs and a 29 inch waist. Now that I am 42, I am 5' 9" and 160 with a 31 inch waist, so I am still in good shape.

Because of some recent dramas in my life I have not been motivated to go to the gym. I started going to the gym regularly in 2000 and pretty much went Monday - Friday. So, last week I started back to the gym.

I normally go to 24 Hour Fitness because the one close to me is new (only 5 years old). The facility is very clean, large and seem to have a clientele that is there to workout and not socialize.

But for a change of scenery I decided to Ballys Total Fitness.

I did my routine but I noticed a few thing that got my attention. So it lead me to this blog entry.

Why do people rest forever in between their reps? Do the damn thing and get off it and move on.
I have 2 words.......Germs and Sweat. Where the fuck in your towel man? Wipe off the equipment before and after you use it.
Why is it that the guy making the most grunt noises is lifting weights way too heavy and his form and body is just wrong. Then throws down the weights.
Why is there always that one person listening to their iPod and singing out loud.
Why is there always someone not working out but sitting on the equipment and talking on the phone.
Why is there always a group of guys or girls that are working out together but spend more time talking then working out?
Why is it that the Personal Trainers don't look any more fit than the average person. Now if the Personal Trainers at my gym looked like these guys, I would be at the guy 7 days at week.

Now the most funny/exciting part is the locker room.

Why are the old and fat men walking around naked. I wonder what do they see when they look in the mirror.

The hot guy you want to see get naked of course is wrapped in a towel from head to toe.

If I did not have to deal with the stuff listed above I could be in and out the gym in about 45 minutes.

At the end of the day, I guess I have to deal with it because it is vital that I remain healthy.

AMERICAN IDOL

2010-03-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

The new season of American Idol has started. I normally only watch the auditions and when they get to the last 2 standing.

I mixed emotions about the show because this is their 9th or 10th season and they have produced any super stars. I have yet to be impressed by any of the talent on the show.

They have produced about 4 -5 artist in which I enjoy their music. Such as:

Kelly Clarkson - She won the 1st year and has a great voice

Chris Daughtry - He did not win. Has a very soulful rock and roll type of voice. Plus he is sexy.

Carrie Underwood - I am not a big fan of country music. Some of it is cool. And her music is one that is cool.

Fantasia - The only time I ran across a name like Fantasia it was a drag queen LOL. During the show I was not a fan and she won. It was not until I was NYC and I saw her in "The Color Purple" that I became a fan. But I still did not buy any of her music. I went to a party in Wash DC and I ended up going to a Fantasia concert. SHE WAS FUCKING AMAZING and I have been a fan every since.

Adam Lambert - He was the runner up last season. This guy has amazing voice. I hoped he planned on bringing glam-rock back on the scene. Thus far from his performance on the Grammys, I am not impressed so the verdict is still out. I recommend that he concentrate on singer instead of shocking.

This season Paul Abdul's contract was not renewed. I honestly miss her crazy, wacky critics of the talent. Because I live in LA I see celebrities all the time. I saw Paula at Sherman Oaks Galleria (she was standing right next to me at the valet parking lot). She is a little tiny woman about 4' 11" and 90 lbs. She was very friendly.

So now we have Ellen. I think Ellen is very funny. But I think she is the wrong choice for the show. I think it is best to have a panel of people who are experts in music (song writers, producers, vocal coaches, singers).

Simon Simon Simon, this guy is blunt, direct and 9 times out of 10 correct in his opinion. Sadly, Simon has decided to move on and this is his last season with the show.

This show has a lot of viewership (which mean more money more money) but I think this should be the last year.

WHEN DO YOU DISCLOSE YOUR HIV STATUS?

2010-03-01T18:26:00.000-08:00

Since I am newly POZ, one of my new dilemmas is "When do I disclose my POZ HIV status".

It is very difficult and it does not come out easily.

Most sites have that section in which you state your HIV status. Some guys either:

state they are negative and state they prefer to date the same.
state they are positive
Leave it blank.

Since I am newly POZ, I am not ready to tell the entire world I am POZ (my parents don't even know yet). My HIV status is a very private and sensitive situation. Hell, I am still adjusting. I don't really think about it until one of my friends mention it or I see a commercial or billboard sign.

The only time I really understand the reality of being POZ is when I meet a guy. There is already the fear of rejection due to lack of attractions and/or connection. But adding HIV status is a totally different ball game.

So back to the question, when do you tell the guy you are POZ?

Some state their POZ status immediately
Some state their POZ status before they have sex
Some state their POZ status after a few dates and develop some type of feeling for the guy.

I just want to do the right thing. I never want to take away a person right to decide if they want to knowingly have sex with or date a person who is POZ.

Today, I have decide to only date a guy who is POZ. My friends think it may change tomorrow. But today it is just a lot easier to go on a POZ site and meet a POZ guy.

I have always been open to dating a guy that is POZ. Now that I am POZ it is amazing the number of guys I see on the POZ sites (POZ.com, gaypozcentral.com, HIVPOZ.net, etc) that list they are negative on the mainstream sites like Gay.com, Manhunt.com and Adam4Adam.com For me it is morally wrong to lied or mislead anyone for the sake of getting what you want. I know at the end of the day the guys lied because they don't want to be rejected....but is is still a lied. "What happens in the dark soon comes to light".

CONDOMS: LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP

2010-02-26T11:53:00.000-08:00

The condom industry offer all types of condoms.

Various colors. (I like the black one for some reason)
lubricated or non lubricated.
Various sizes (small, regular, larger, XL).
Various types of material: lambskin, latex and polyurethane).
With or without spermicide.
Some heat up.
Some have a special solution that allows the man to not cum as quickly (Climax control).
Some have a solution that adds pleasure.
Some have rings or ribbed.

BUT, I have a problem. I do not understand why they break. I am POZ today because the condom broke. Believe it or not...it is the truth. I was not BB when I become POZ. At first I was mad at the guy because he told me he was negative. Some guys will lie about their HIV status because they are using a condom. But, that is another topic. After I got over my anger at the guy who infected me and lied. I became mad at the condom industry.

We have the ability to go to outer space and come back. Dammit, I have to use a knife to take the plastic off everything I purchase at the store (CD's are the worst).

So, I guess the purposely thin piece of latex for pleasure purposes is far more important than safety.

Some men would argue that condoms are not thin enough and hinders the sensation. Some guys would argue that they are uncomfortable to wear (too loose or too tight). Some guys lose their hard-on when wearing a condom. For some guys it is strictly mental. Because of some or all of these reason is why I think a lot of men BB.

Will be ever have a condom that will not break?

Stud Muffin of the Week: MARC JACOBS

2010-02-25T13:20:00.000-08:00

This week's stud muffin is Marc Jacobs. The brilliant, genius, creative force behind the luxury label Louis Vuitton. And he also has one fashion line under his own name.

Talk about the ugly duckling that became a beautiful swan.

This man totally re-invented himself. It is amazing what a makeover and gym membership will do for you.

TOYOTA

2010-02-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

So, today I was watching the congressional inquiry of Toyota on CNN. I could not help but think that this is the first time the US government would be able to "stick-it" to the foreign auto makers. Is it justified, revenge or jealousy. Don't get me wrong, I am as patriotic as the next man. But why didn't our government do a congressional inquiry with US auto maker (before we gave them billions of dollars in tax-payers money) for the following reason:

Not making gas efficient cars.
Not making emission free or low emission cars.
Not making cars the average person in the US or other countries would want.
Not making cars that last longer than 5 years.

The Toyota recall on the brake system is indeed serious. If they 100% for sure knew about the danger and did nothing, they most definitely need to be punished. This is recall is only the 5th worst recall in US history. The other 4 were US made cars. In which thousands of lives have been taken. This Toyota recall has taken 35 lives. Taking 1 life is 1 life too many. When I say taking of a life I mean, the fault was a malfunction of the car not the driver.

There was a time when Ford and Chevy were the most popular cars....what happened?

I travel quite extensively and no matter what country I visit I NEVER see US made cars. But I see plenty of the following:

So the real question is, "what are these auto maker doing that consumers what their cars in countries all over the world?" What ever it is, we need to do the same and maybe once again US made cars will be in demand again.

Which car do you drive and why?

GAY TV - THE "LOGO" CHANNEL

2010-02-23T12:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a really bad day for me (evidence - yesterday's blog posting). As I was having my "pity-party" in bed all day Sunday I ran across the gay tv network "Logo". First of all what type of name is "Logo". Why not call it "GTV" (gay tv). I have attempted to watch the "Logo" Channel in the past. But, there is NEVER anything worth watching. I watch a lot of the "Discovery", "HGTV" and "History" channel.

Speaking of "HGTV", I highly recommend :

1. Color Splash - David Bromstad is HOT.

2. Outdoor Living - Jamie Durie - hot assuie guy. I am a sucker for an accent.

3. Divine Design - Candance Olson - this lady has a great sense of humor and great taste in design.

Anyway I digressed (HGTV is on while I am typing up my blog). Back to "Logo".

Again, I have really tried to support the "Logo" Channel but am bored to death with their selection of movies and shows The Program Director needs to be fired.? Did anyone poll gay people to ask what would we like to see on our station?

The big attraction on "Logo" now is RuPaul's Drag Race. I remember when the first season was aired I thought "there is no way anyone is going to watch this". To my surprise the show was a major success. All of my gay and straight friends watched the show. So, I tuned in and was able to see all of the first season during one of their marathons. So, now I am watching the second season. I came out in the DC/VA area and one of my good friend is from the South. Then I lived in NYC. Anyway, my point is, "In the South and on the East Coast, they always have a drag shows". So, going out partying when I came out in the 80's always involved seeing a drag show.

I think that once "the powers that be" over at "Logo" realize that their gay audience deserves/require quality tv, they will improve their choice in movies and shows.....I hope....please!

MY FEARs

2010-02-22T18:04:00.000-08:00

I have a big secret. (Don't tell anyone)

I have something to admit. I am afraid. I am scared. I am worried. And I don't know what to do about it.

When I was in my early 20's I kept having this reoccurring dream. The dream was that I was an old man living ALONE.

I do not remember if I was happy or sad, I just remember the feeling of being ALONE. You know how the more you try to remember a dream the quicker it fades. All I know is that I don't want this dream to come true. But, it seems like the cards are stacked against me for the following factors:

1. I am 42 years old, so in the gay world I am considered old and/or invisible. Luckily I look 28 - 30, it
is a blessing and a curse.

2. I live in the "Land of Nuts and Flakes" (Los Angeles). Some (not all) of the guys here are soo
materialistic, superficial and flaky.

And....No one seem to date anymore.

3. I am newly POZ (7 months). I am not too sure if guys are truly open to dating a POZ guy. Then there
are issue of should I date a negative guy.

4. I am not emotionally strong enough to deal with any type of rejection at this point. So, I don't put
myself in situation for rejection. Example: I go on various website but I never send a message to a
guy first.

So my question is, "How do I overcome or get comfortable with my fears?" (Fear of growing old - Fear of not finding love and being a LTR - Fear of being alone - Fear of Rejection).

"Am I alone in my fear - does anyone else feel this way?"

SEX CLUBS RULES

2010-02-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine was visiting LA for work. I entertained (movies, dinner, shopping etc) him at night once he finished all of his meetings. He arrived Monday and departed on Saturday morning back to Indiana. So, last night (Friday) he called me after I dropped him off from drinks at The Abbey in West Hollywood. He was looking for some "action" and decided to go to a sex club or bath house because his online attempts take too long.

I had no interest in going to a sex club or bath house. So provided him a list of what I found online:

The Zone
Midtown Spa
Melrose Spa
Hollywood Spa
Slammers

He decided he wanted to go to a sex club (he was not in the mood for walking around in a towl - although he as a nice body). So, he went to The Zone. It was closest via taxi since he did not rent a car.

So now it is Saturday and I am taking my friend to the airport. He tells me in detail about his adventures. After the conversation and a good laugh, on my drive back home I thought of some "sex club rules".

These rules are based on the conversation I had with my friend and his observation:

Hygiene - make sure you are freshly showered.
If you are a bottom - make sure your ass is cleaned out.
Don't come with friends. IF you must come with yours friends separate/disperse.
Unless you are a doctor or your wife is about to give birth at any minute....leave your phone in the car. Who in the fuck are you texting or talking to in the middle of a sex club? Using your phone as a light source is not acceptable in the dark room...it defeats the purpose of the dark room. The key to the dark room is to have eye contact with a guy and he will want you to follow him into the dark room.
Put paper towels in your pocket to wipe your dick or ass until you can get to the bathroom. And go straight to the bathroom. PLEASE wash your dick and ass after each encounter. And rinse your mouth with water or mouthwash (if it is provided).
Be nice, leave the attitude at home. It is already difficult enough to deal with rejection but there is no need to be an asshole. Politely/gently refuse the guy.
Don't just grab a guy's ass or dick without some type eye contact first. And hopefully he will show if he is interested or not.
It is a sex club not a discussion group...so if you need to have a conversation go to a non-sex area or the lounge. I do understand that in the 60's - early 80's sex club/bath houses were a social meeting place.....well not anymore.
If you exchange telephone numbers with a guy.....don't expect him to call.
If you are in a booth surrounded by glory holes and you are NOT attracted to the guy next to you, do not block the hole with your hand or your shirt....that is just rude. What make you think that he wanted you to begin with.
If you are not using a booth or private room but standing in the doorway....get the fuck out the way and let others use it.
If your dick does not get hard because you have already cum but yet you still want to get sucked or fuck....take your ass home, it is over for you for 2nite. LOL.
Don't assume - not everyone wants you. Just because the guy stands next to you, or in the booth next to you, or even checks you out. If he wants you I am sure it will make the point crystal clear...it is a sex club.
No mean no, if the guy is not interested, leave him alone.
If you see 2 guys making out....unless they invite you to join....leave them alone.
Lastly, have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These rules are for entertainment purposes BUT some of them are pretty good. My friend was just venting his frustration in regards to his observation.

WTF Tiger

2010-02-18T15:57:00.000-08:00

Tiger Woods

· Full Name: Eldrick "Tiger" Woods

· Residence: Orlando, Fla.

· Born: December 30, 1975 (Cypress, Calif.)

· High School: Western H.S. (Anaheim, Calif.)

· College: Stanford University (Palo Alto, Calif.)

· Height: 6'1"

· Weight: 185

· Turned Pro: 1996

Eldrick (Tiger) Woods, now 34 years of age, has had an unprecedented career since becoming a professional golfer in the late summer of 1996. He has won 95 tournaments, 71 of those on the PGA Tour, including the 1997, 2001, 2002 and 2005 Masters Tournaments, 1999, 2000, 2006 and 2007 PGA Championships, 2000, 2002, and 2008 U.S. Open Championships, and 2000, 2005 and 2006 Open Championships. With his second Masters victory in 2001, Tiger became the first ever to hold all four professional major championships at the same time. He is the career victories leader among active players on the PGA Tour, and is the career money list leader.
Tiger increased his record total on the PGA Tour career money list to $92,862,539, through 2009, and had won $111,433,044 worldwide.

Tiger has been in the news a lot lately due to the 14 (yes 14) women who claim to have had sex with Tiger while he was married. So, essentially Tiger has been playing more than golf. I personally could care less about Tiger's personal life. He is a professional golfer and I just to see him play Golf (if I was into Golf). What happens between Tiger and his wife should not be broadcast in the media. His affairs are on the cover of magazine and discussed on tv talk shows. Now, all the chatter has died down and for the first time Tiger wants to make a statement and apologize. WTF TIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just apologize to your family and get back to playing Golf. Why bring the topic back up. When Fuzzy Zoeller (Pro Golfer) said to Tiger "Little Boy, don't order friend chicken or collard greens at the Champion Dinner, Tiger did not respond. And there have been other situation when which golfer have made racial comments and again no response. During those time he should have make a statement. And now during a time he should keep quiet and deal with it with his wife...his ass what to make a statement to the media.

I have 3 simple suggestions:

1. Shut up - no talking to the media.
2. Make amends with your family.
3. Get back to playing Golf and be the best you can be.

Stud Muffin of the Week: ANDERSON COOPER

2010-02-17T13:18:00.000-08:00

This weeks stud muffin is ANDERSON COOPER. I selected Anderson because he is soo smart, compassionate and has a great sense of humor.

This man comes from money (his Mother is Gloria Vanderbilt....the designer... not to mention his forefathers the Vanderbilts from the 1800s build the railroad and pretty much owned very seaport in the US). Anderson could have done like very other silver spoon heir and just play golf or polo all day. But instead when to Yale and started his career in journalism.

He is not just a author/journalist, he actually goes to the source. He was one of the first to go to New Orleans DURING and AFTER the hurricane. He was also one of the first to go to Iraq during the war.

Anderson is rumored to be gay.....who cares. He is a socially conscience, HOT guy who's heart is more beautiful then his silver hair and striking blue eyes.

he was mine! LOL

I CAN'T DRIVE 55 - THE CAR EDITION

2010-02-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

Every since I was a little boy I have always been fascinated with boats, trains and plane.

But my absolute favorite are CARS. I had quite an extensive Matchbox car collection. And I use to builds those model cars.

Can you imagine driving down the autoban in Germany in your dream car?

The following are a few of my favorites:

Chevy SSR Truck

54 Chevy Truck

67 Mustang

Aston Martin

Audi A5, S5, R5

Audi R8

Bentley Continental GT

Classic Citreon

Classic Jaguar

Maserati

Range Rover Supercharger

I remember watching "Speed Racer" and I could not wait to learn to drive.

The other cartoon I use to watch that made me think about cars and driving was the "Jetsons".

I am soo disappointed because it is now 2010 and still we are not living on the moon or other plants or even under the water like in the "Jetson". Where is my space car?

Every year I attend the auto show. Because I live in Los Angeles I pretty much see one of my favorite cars on a daily basis. So, when I attend the auto show every year I enjoy the concept cars the most.

PRESIDENT'S DAY

2010-02-15T02:56:00.000-08:00

The following is the list of presidents that I like:

John Quincy Adams - This was the FIRST president to fight against slavery (he lost but still he recognized it was wrong).

Abraham Lincoln - president during the Civil War - if the South had won what would the US look like today.

John F. Kennedy - started the Space Program and spoken out for the Civil Rights Moment.

Lyndon B. Johnson - After JFK's assassination, this president put forth federal law that gave African Americans the right to vote, fair housing and employment laws and ended segregation. He essentially moved thru the House and Senate all the laws that Kennedy was working on. He did not have to do that. He could have denied or threw it all away. After all he was a "good-Ole boy" from Texas.

William "Bill" J. Clinton - the only president in my opinion who was the common, everyday man. He was the only president since Andrew Jackson in which the US was debt free. Bill was almost impeached for receiving a bj in the oval office....LOL.

Barack H. Obama - This guy has the toughest job on the planet. Our first president of African decent. He has 2 wars to fight, failing bank system, recession, bipartisan-ism and racism. His future as a good president is too soon to tell.

This is a very interesting picture.

After President's Obama 8 years in office (if he is re-elected), I hope Hillary Clinton becomes the U.S. First Woman President. She is smart and intelligent, experienced, educated, articulate, work-class background, Bill's wife (former First Lady), opinionated yet diplomatic and strong-willed. Just want we need.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

2010-02-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

ASS - ARSE - BUTTOCK - BOOTY - BOY PUSSY - CAKES - GLUTEUS MAXIMUS

2010-02-12T19:48:00.000-08:00

Most guys have a favorite body part. I have quite a few listed below but my favorite is as the title suggests.

The first thing I notice in a guy are his eyes. It is not just about the color. It is also the shape and expression. They say "eyes are the windows to the soul".

I have never admitted this but I have accepted that I also have an attraction to feet. I have always loved boots. But subconsciously I look at guys shoes and try to image what their feet look like. (Don't tell anyone it's our little secret). Because I live in Southern California, the average guy here has a collection of sandals/flip flops. So, on a daily basis I get my fill of seeing very nice feet.

I have a funny story:

I briefly dated this guy. He had a great body and masculine. Thank God he was a bottom LOL. Anyway, the first time we had sex we were actually in the shower. I looked down at his feet and I almost lost my erection. We continued having sex but moved to the bedroom. I did everything I could to get the picture of his ugly feet out of my mind. I covered his feet with the sheets. The next time we had sex I told him that I hate feet and asked if he would keep his sock on especially during sex. Strange/funny story but true.

Another feature that gets my attention is a strong, chiseled jawline. If the guy also has a cleft chin whoa baby! The cleft chin is more of a genetic trait. Interesting enough enhanced jawlines and cleft chin plastic surgery are one of the poplar surgeries guys request. (Sad example but think of Michael Jackson). A lot of German men for some reason have the strong chiseled jawline.

But (no pun intended) the #1 physical trait that gets my attention is a nice, firm, tight, bubble butt. Nothing looks better in a jock strap, jeans or just naked lying in a bed.

So to my brothers who prefer a guy with a big dick,

yeah the guy above is hot and trust me I would not kick him out of bed, but, GIVE ME A MAN WITH A NICE ASS over a big dick any day.

Stud Muffin of the Week: RICKY SINZ

2010-02-11T16:27:00.000-08:00

I have decided to once a week pay homage to a guy who has gotten my attention. It might be a guy who I find hot. It might be a guy who I think is soo smart (I love smart men). It may be a guy who I think is soo funny (if you can make me laugh you score extra points). Or just a guy who is just talented at whatever.

This weeks Stud Muffin is:

- RICKY SINZ -
PORN STAR
DANCER
DJ
AND
MILITARY VETERAN

I am one of those guy that never really pay attention to the strippers/go-go boys/dancers at night clubs. Because 9 time out of 10 they can't dance, not sexy or just trying to hard. While visiting my family in Chicago, I meet some friends out a a club called Jack Hammer. It is a neighborhood club, in the front is a bar and dance floor. In the back are pool tables and another bar. There are tv monitors all around the club playing music videos. But on one tv monitor they play only porn. Out the corner of my guys one of the guys in the porn called Grunts caught my attention. There was this tattooed stud plowing some ass with amazing expertise. I looked watching his bubble butt gyrate. Although he is a native of Chicago I loved his Eastern European features. I decided to go to the bar for another drink. I get the drink and I turn around to look at the platform because they announced the first stripper. Low and behold, it was the tattooed fucker from the movie. I have NEVER given a stripper even a $1. I watched Ricky shake that ass and move to the beat. The guys were lined up to shower this guy with money. He danced to 2 songs. He finished his routine and disappeared. Later that night he reappeared as the finale. After his last dance, as he was walking to the dressing room to change to his street clothes, I approached him. We actually had a conversation. He was approachable, nice/friendly, and totally not fake. He did not rush me away. I complimented him and he allowed me to touch every inch of his body.

It was a great experience. I wish him the best of luck in all his future hopes and dreams.

STEREOTYPES

2010-02-10T15:34:00.000-08:00

At a very early age we were all taught to see things that are different or alike and put them into groups. Remember in elementary school or while watching Sesame Street the assignment would be "which one of the pictures do not belong".

Example: There would be a picture of 3 blue balloons and 1 red balloon. And of course the red one does not belong.

But somewhere along the way some of us have taken it a step farther. Some of us think that the one that does not belong/or is not like the others is a "bad" thing. Being different has been seen as not of the same or equal quality or worth. And that is when STEREOTYPES AND GENERALIZATIONS are created.

Let's start with the definition of stereotypes.

Stereotype: A simplified and standardized concept or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group.

Right now Gay Rights are in the news a lot. Some states are deciding on gays civil right to marry. The government is in discussion about Gays in the military. A lot of the issues center around stereotypes.

Example #1: Gays are perceived as immortal and promiscuous. Their relationships and families are not of the same worth/quality/realness as a heterosexual couple. And that Gays interrupt the concept of marriage.

Example #2: Gays in the military would convert the heterosexual service members. Gays in the military would not be able to control themselves in shower situation or sleeping quarters. Gays would spread disease. Gays would not be able to handle a combat situation. Gays would come to work in drag (yes!, I heard that on NPR from a listener that called in). All gay men are effeminate.

I do "get-it" that most people who do not understand something search for evidence of recognition in order to relate. Because some people feel more comfortable hanging out with someone who has a common interest and beliefs. Some prefer to hang out with people who look like themselves. Which is why we have clubs, groups and communities.

But what happens when you encounter a person/group that is different from your beliefs, interest or appearance? You flashback to the first time you had this experience and usually treat that person/situation the way you handled it in the past. The outcome may have went well or poorly.

My advice to the wise, take the stereotypes you have about any person or group and throw them away. We are all individuals.

Example #1: Not all gay men are effeminate and have a sense of style for fashion or interior design.

Example #2: Not all Black men are hung.

Example #3: Not all Gay Asian men are submissive/bottoms and have a small dicks.

Example #4: Not all Latinos are uncut.

Example #5: Not all Blonds are dumb.

My entire existence is the total opposite of what stereotypes dictate. And believe it or not because I am a clean-cut, articulate, professional. educated, world traveled, gay but not some flame, upper middle-class, light-skin mixed Black men I am told I am not "Black acting" or an "oreo". But if I was totally White, I would be considered a "good catch". Sometimes I feel that if I was a thug from the ghetto I would get more action LOL.

I do have my own list of stereotypes such as:

I do think Asian are awful drivers.
I do think people who drives the Toyota Prius drive too damn slow and usually in the fast lane.
When I see cowboys boots, hat and buckle or hear a country accent, I do think redneck racist.
I do wonder why Latinos go every where in a group. I always see a car full of them.
When I see a very hot guy I do typically think he probably has no personality and boring in bed.
When I see a big tall muscle guy I think small dick.
When a person says they are Republican I do think racist, religious, closed-mind conservative.

BUT, seriously I only say thing things to my friends out of humor. I don't really believe the comments I listed. Okay ok maybe #7.

The only thing all Black people have in common is that they are all of African decent. The only thing all gay people have in common is that we fall in love with someone of the same gender.

I am sure if you talk to anyone they have a horror story to tell about being judged based on some stereotype. My story is not unique, and indeed too common and something I don't want to get use to experiencing.

GAY LABELS

2010-02-09T02:22:00.000-08:00

In the USA it is estimated that 10% of the population is Gay. So that is about 25 Million people. Within the 25 million gay people we are broken ourselves down into labels/groups.

Twinks - very young, skinny and cute gay boys.
Bears - Big and hairy guys.
Otters - Tall and skinny hairy guys.
Wolves - Big and hairy older men.
Leathermen - gay guys who are into leather/uniforms etc.
Cowboys - gay men into country-western music, cowboy boots, jeans and hat.
Circuit Boys - gay men that usually dance with shirts off and high on something dancing to trance music.
Edgy - gay guys who are into tattoos and/or piercings and dress more with an alternative.
Jocks - gay men who wear a lot of athletic clothing usually baseball caps. And into sports.
Artsy - gay men who dress very colorfully and into the art scene.
Muscle men - gay men who live in the gym and loves there tank tops....very muscular.
The Activist - gay men who live, eat and drink for gay right and usually wearing some type of pro-gay button.
Non-scene - the gay guy that does not attend any type of gay events or even have gay friends.
Throlls - gay men who are soo fucking old but yet they are still in the club.
Daddies - gay men who are hot and range in age from 45 - 55
Average/Normal Guy that does not fit in any scene - just the gay normal guy that is often overlooked. But yet in demand.
Drag Queens - gay men who dress in drag and it is not Halloween.
Queens - gay men that are effeminate.

Did I leave any out? Which one are you?

In each of those sub-communities they have their own clubs, slang and standards.

In Los Angeles we have the West Hollywood (WeHo) boys and the Silverlake Boys. The WeHo Boys are type casted with having a lot of attitude, body conscience, fashion whores, materialistic and not friendly. The Silverlake Boys consider themselves more laid back, more masculine, edgy and anti-Weho. I find both groups to be cliquish. It was that same thing when I lived in San Francisco, the Castro Boys vs. South of Marker (SoMo) Boys. In NYC the Village Boys vs. Chelsea Boys. I find it all very interesting because my heterosexual friends don't have all these labels.

I am the average gay guy that is actually a little bit of everything. I can hang out in any part of town or with any type of people and feel comfortable and just be myself. I have been labeled by my friends as the clean-cut average guy with an edge. Picture a preppy guy with a twist of something alternative like boots or fly ass sneakers. I love that people look at me and have no ideas I have quite a few tattoos....that's me (what you see is not necessarily what you get). I love that about myself.

I look like/perceived as and dress like:

But inside I feel like:

So labels and clicks are not really my thing and I refuse to be put in a box. All my life labels have gotten me into a lot of trouble because my outward appearance does not match my views/opinions or behavior.

Having all of these labels have PROs and CONs. One of the only times we as Gay people seem to some together with no judgment is during Gay Pride Weekend.

Wouldn't be great if there were no labels. And we just treated each other on the merit of our actions.

RACISM OR RACIAL SEXUAL PREFERENCE

2010-02-08T02:05:00.000-08:00

If you are attracted to ONLY your own ethnicity (I hate the word race – in my mind there is only one race – The Human Race) and not others, does that make you a racist?

First let’s look at the definition according to Webster:

Racism: 1. A belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule others. 2. Hated or intolerance of another race.

I have a large circle of friends/associates and I am the ONLY one in that circle that is completely open to all ethnicities. I am honestly and truly attracted to Blacks, Asians, Whites, Latinos and others.

Asian

Latino

White

Black

Other

I do understand that a lot of times attraction is subconscious. But in some circumstances I believe there is a motive.

Example: When I lived in San Francisco I briefly date a Korean Guy. We had many conversation about how some (no….most) Asians ONLY date White guys. We were both confused by this epidemic LOL. After traveling to Hong Kong, Tokyo and Singapore I came back to the USA with a newfound observation. A lot of Asian men date ONLY White because they are seeking financial security and acceptance. And unfortunately the ONLY picture of financial security and acceptance is thru the White tourist or via the media. Usually the big America dreams centers around being wealthy. And the only vision of wealth that is available to them is thru White tourist. This is just my observation.

There are other times when I hear the term “opposites attract”.

          Example:     I have a White friend that only dates Black men. I instantly thought, “Ok, he is
          looking for the biggest, blackest dick he can find”. But in reality he is a top but he is only
          attracted to very dark and very African features. He loves the total opposite of himself (his
          White skin next to dark skin – his straight next to curly hair – his light against dark eyes).
          I found that very fascinating.

Now the issue that I find really offensive and insulting is when a guy says or writes in let’s say a website profile: “No Blacks or Asians” or “No Mexicans”. I understand we all like what we like (motive or not) BUT it still does not mean you have to lack sensitivity or tact. Doesn’t it sound/read better to write: “White guy seeking same” or “GWM only”. And the same for Black men, it sounds better to write: “Black men seeking same” instead of “No Whites”. I will always remember the time I approached this guy and he said to me, “sorry not into black men or whatever you are”. I do not think it is ever necessary to be that tactless. I think the proper response is “Thank you for the compliment” or “Sorry not interested”. But to tell the guy why you are not interested is downright mean.

I think it is best to not say what ethnicity you are into and just go after what you want or wait for it to come to you. When I read a profile that reads “No Black or Asians”. I think, “Do you dislike Asians and Blacks that much that you have to write it in your profile”. Once when I was visiting a friend in DC (he is White, blonde hair and blue eyes – the perfect A&F model type) we went out clubbing in DuPont Circle. A hot Black guy tried to talk to him, my friend only dates White guys with dark hair more of the Italian look, and anyway, my friend very politely had a brief conversation with the guy. He never said or let-on that he is not into Black men. We use to be roommate so I know for a fact he is not a racist. He just likes what he likes. My friend was totally nice and actually flattered by the whole situation.

Honestly I still at my age (42) find it strange/interesting when a guy is one ethnicity and he is not attracted to his own ethnicity. To me, HOT is HOT, SEXY is SEXY. To me it is like dogs, a dog is a dog. And there are many breeds. But, I would think a Poodle would be attracted to another Poodle more than it would be attracted to a Pit Bull (don’t laugh, it is the first analogy that came to my mind).

Poodle

Pitt Bull

If you like one ethnicity over another based on some type of socio-economic scale or negative stereotypes, I am going to venture and say..... you are a racist.

If you only like your own ethnicity and it is strictly about physical attraction....... you are not a racist.

If you like a particular ethnicity base on some type of stereotype…..stay tuned for another blog on the subject called “Sexual Fetish or Objectification”.

The Gift of a COMPLIMENT

2010-02-07T01:49:00.000-08:00

How many times have you gone on a website and saw a profile that got your attention? Maybe it was the picture, or a funny comment or the over-all content of the profile. What ever the reason, you decide to respond to the profile and give the guy a compliment. You may have said something like:

Great profile
Funny comment.
Hot body
You are cute.

When you send the compliment, you had good intentions. Either you genuinely wanted to to give the guy a compliment or maybe possibly hoping something more might happen. Like a conversation starting and it leading to a chat buddie, date or hot sex.

But in return you get one of the following:

No response.
He responses with "Not Interested".
He deletes the message without even reading it because he looked at your pix is not interested.
He responses with "Not looking....happy cruising"
He responses with "Sorry not into ___________" (fill in the blank with Black, Asian, Latino, POZ, over 40, etc).

Then you have regret that you had the balls to send a nice message to a guy. Or you vow to never send a message to a guy first.

At the bare minimum you were at least expecting the simple two word response:

It only takes a second to response. It is only 9 key strokes of the keypad. It is not a request for sex. It is not a marriage proposal. But yet, THANK YOU is soo hard for some to say.

One day there will come a time when I/we will log on to a website and not get a compliment. That is why I pride my self in respond to each and every message I receive. I appreciate the compliments and I am flattered. So the next time you get a compliment regardless of if you are interested in the person or not, just say:

Writing a Good Profile 101

2010-02-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

How many times have you read a profile on one of the MANY gay websites and thought............WTF!!!! Many profiles list fucked up pictures (old pictures, pictures of a gaping asshole, pictures the size of a stamp, etc.) and fucked up statements about another group of people (age, body type, race, hiv status, dick size, etc). Essentially it is a profile full of negativity and unrealistic expectations.

Well today I have taken it upon myself to help my brothers out. After reading this you might change your own profile.

Remember it is all about marketing LOL. You want your profile to stand out. Even if the person is not attracted to you and vice versa, at least the guy took the time to look at your profile.

Tip #1 - Just be yourself, don't try to be someone else. Don't try to be something you are NOT.

Tip #2 - Think of a creative title - again that fits you.

Tip #3 - You MUST have pictures of yourself (not your dog or some object). If the site offers multiple pictures you can upload....then do it man. Pictures must be recent (this year), clear, and a good size. If you want to be discrete than have your face pictures locked or private. Yes, you need to be able to show a face picture.

Tip #4 - Describe yourself - be honest - be specific and be modest. Don't label yourself as cute, vgl or hot.

Tip #5 - Briefly talk about your interest. If it is a sex site then talk about what you are into sexually.

Tip #6 - When talking about what you are looking for in another man, do exactly that, talk about what you want. Be positive but be realistic. Remember the question most profiles ask is "Briefly describe what you are looking for". The question is not, "Tell us what you hate and what you are not into and what group of people you do not want to attract".

Tip #7 - Don't take any of the online sites too seriously. It is a form of entertainment. You are definitely going to have good and bad experiences. Don't give up.

Online sites for sex and dating is here to stay. No seems to meet face-to-face first these days.

So, with a good profile you can end up doing this:

With a fucked up profile the only action you will get is with your computer.

Tribute to Black Men

2010-02-04T14:36:00.000-08:00

In honor of Black History Month, I thought I would list a few of the Black men that get my "attention". They get my attention based on intelligence, sexiness, attitude, talent and personality. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Tyson Beckford

Jason Kidd

Cuba Gooding Jr. Djimon Hounson

Gary Dourdan Hill Harper

Larenz Tate LLCoolJ

Michael Ealy Rockmond Dunbar

Taye Diggs Terrence Howard

Tyrese Blair Underwood

Wentworth Miller

President Barack Obama

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Str8 Acting Does that = Internalized Homophobia?

2010-02-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

I have heard soo many gay men describe themselves as "straight-acting and straight-appearing". This phrase makes no sense to me. Does the guy really mean he is "butch" or "masculine"? If that is what he means then fucking say that. When I hear the words "straight-acting", I instantly think, "Why are you acting" and "Who do you think you are fooling, no one thinks you are straight". I have NEVER meet a man in which I could not tell if he was homosexual or heterosexual. It's called "gay-dar". I don't care how "butch" the guy is I just get a vibe and have never been wrong.

But, let's take this deeper. When a gay men insist on using the term "straight-acting" is it a form of internalized homophobia? Does he think the fact other might think he is straight a positive thing and being perceived as gay is a bad thing?

I don't mean to offend anyone. But if you get on your knees to suck dick or enjoying receiving a bj from another guys, that is not straight acting. If you enjoy topping or bottoming with another man, that is not straight-acting. If you are on a date with another man, that is not straight appearing. If you look at another man and lust for him, that is not straight-acting. If you are turned-on by any of these pictures, that is not straight acting.

So why is being masculine a good thing and being effeminate or obviously gay a bad thing?

I know at the end of the day, it is all about generalizations/stereotypes. And possibly the fear of rejection. Maybe I am naive, but I thought the ONLY deciding factor as to if a person was gay, was the fact that you are attracted to the same gender physically/mentally and emotionally. I have a straight friend that loves fashion, he is married and totally not gay. I have a gay friend who loves football and a policeman.

Now there is another segment of gay men that like to brag by saying "I am not-in-scene". Which I understand to mean they go out to clubs or anything else that is associated to being gay. Again another generalization / stereotype. I have heterosexual friends who don't go out clubbing but they don't say "I am not-in-scene". Either you enjoy going out clubbing, have moved on past the clubscene or just have never been into clubbing. I have a friend that I have known since he was 19. He is now 32 and to this day he has never liked clubs and still does not go out. I have a heterosexual female friend that is 40 and she is a party animal and in the clubs every weekend. I live in LA and there is always something going on outside of a club.

I understand that some gay men are turned on more by masculinity and that is cool. But his behavior and appearance.........there is nothing straight about that LOL.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

2010-02-02T20:28:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a good friend of mine that lives in Chicago. He was in route to a Black History Month Luncheon given by some organization (I forgot the name). I had totally forgotten February was Black History month. And I had not seen any commercials or heard anyone talking about it. I have always loved history so I took it upon myself to educate myself more on the topic. I found the following site:

http://www.biography.com/blackhistory/index.jsp

As I read thru the site I was AMAZED. I was clueless to a lot of the inventions created and facts by African Americans.

Here are a few that surprised me:

Garret Agustus Morgan - invented, among many other things, a 3-way automatic stop sign, which he sold to General Electric. It was used in the U.S. until the 3-light traffic sign was developed.
Otis Boykin - invented electronic control devices for guided missiles, IBM computers, and the control unit for a pacemaker.
George T. Sampson - invented a clothes dryer that used heat from a stove in 1892.
Dr. Charles Drew - discovered techniques to store blood and developed blood banks.
Thomas J. Martin - patented a fire extinguisher in 1872.
John Love - invented the pencil sharpener in 1897.
Sarah E. Goode - invented a bed that folded up into a cabinet in 1885.
L. P. Ray - invented the dustpan in 1897.
Matthew Henson - was a part of the first successful U.S. expedition to the North Pole in 1909.
The banjo originated in Africa and up until the 1800s was considered an instrument only played by blacks.
York, a black slave, accompanied Lewis and Clark when they made their 1804 expedition from Missouri to Oregon. York’s presence aided in their interactions with the Native Americans they encountered.
Nancy Green - a former slave, was employed in 1893 to promote the Aunt Jemima brand by demonstrating the pancake mix at expositions and fairs. She was a popular attraction because of her friendly personality, great story-telling, and warmth. Green signed a lifetime contract with the pancake company and her image was used for packaging and billboards. In 1923 she was struck by a car in downtown Chicago.

So the next time you are in traffic at a stop light , or put your clothes in a dryer, or use a dust pan, or travel from Missouri to Oregon, or use a fold-away bed, or donate blood, or use a fire extinguisher....thank of Black people LOL. And there are tons more accomplishments if you are interested. Like Dr. Daniel Hale Williams (first open heart surgery). I was very impressed.

From slavery.........

To President of the United States.

I am soo inspired by this part of my bloodline. But I am also embarrassed for not knowing these facts prior to my conversation with my friend. I have put forth soo much of a effort to learn about other cultures that I forgot about my own.

Thanks "Black History Month" for bringing me back to my roots.

MONOGAMY...........The fairytale

2010-01-31T22:27:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time
in a kingdom far, far away
lived a society of people
that formed their martial laws
based on the concept of
monogamy.

That kingdom today has a divorce rate of:

     According to "Enrichment Journal" on the divorce rate in America:

         First Marriage is 41%
         Second Marriage is 60%
         Third Marriage is 73%

Many times over dinner with friends I find myself in a conversation about "monogamy". Someone will ask, "Would you be in an open ltr?" I have heard soo many hetero and homo males say "men are not monogamous by nature". But, then someone will say that one word that confuses the entire conversation:

My response is always "In the words of Tina Turner, "What's Love Gotta To Do With It?". I love ice cream (only vanilla LOL) but I am lactose intolerant. But sometimes I will eat one spoon full too many and deal with the stomach cramps and gas. Love, now that is a topic for another blog.

Monogamy is a concept created by the church (although most men in the Bible had many wives). And the Bible say nothing about monogamy. Before woman had birth control, monogamy was a way for a man to know if he was indeed the "father".

I have always been confused by the guys who try to model their homosexual relationship after a heterosexual relationship. Sure, we can borrow some of the stuff that works. But, outside of that you have to do what works for you and your partner.

To get to the point, it is all about:

SEX

When people come to grips with the fact that "sex" has nothing to do with "love" maybe this concept of monogamy will change.. You can not tell me that every guy you had sex with...you loved. Sex is Sex and nothing more. Even when you have a boyfriend, it is still just "sex" not "making love". Guys and/or couples that understand that a relationship is based on respect, trust, understanding, love (that's a given), and whatever else you need that is specific to your relationship.

In my 42 years on the planet, I have had 4 ltrs (each 2 - 3 years). I have lived in most of the major cities (Chicago, DC, NYC, SF and LA). During that time I have meet couples who fall into one of these 4 categories:

Monogamous relationship but they don't have sex anymore and are sexually frustrated and bored.
Monogamous relationship and they are both cheating (don't ask don't tell)
Open relationship will no rules or boundaries and it usually ends out of jealousy and disrespect.
Open relationship with rules and boundaries.

I am was one of the couples that was doing option #4. We had simple rules:

Don't bring home any STDs.
Our ltr is the priority. Fit in your "play-time" where you can.
Don't do "it" in our home.
I don't want to hear about your "playtime" from you are thru rumors - be discreet. Don't try to meet men when we are together....meet men when you are alone...that is called respect.
I don't want to meet your "play thangs".

Can you really live the rest of your life having sex with the same person? My answer is "hell naw". If guys are more honest and communicate then cheating would not be an issue.

For those of you that want a monogamous relationship, good for you and I wish you the best of luck.

This commerical is hilarious

2010-01-29T18:39:00.001-08:00

On Thursday, FoxNews.com reported that Mancrunch.com, a gay dating site, was still waiting to hear if CBS would approve their Super Bowl ad. According to Mancrunch.com reps, "The 30-second spot shows two men excitedly watching the game, before their hands brush as they both reach into a bowl of chips. Suddenly, the two begin making out, much to the shock of a guy sitting close by."

Today, CNBC.com's "Mancrunch.com has just received a formal rejection of its ad from CBS."

Here is it for your viewing pleasure. It is soo harmless and very funny.

Who is this bitch "Tina" and why is she soo popular?

2010-01-29T12:17:00.000-08:00

No, I am not talking about TINA Turner.

No, I am not about ChrisTINA Applegate.

No, not ChrisTINA Aguilera.

I am talking about this TINA - Crystal Meth - some call her "Tina". Or it is one of the Ps in PNP (Party and Play). Usually the Party LOL.

I WROTE THIS PARTICULAR BLOG not TO pass judgment OR preach. I AM GENUINELY CURIOUS. SO I STARTED MY RESEARCH WITH WHAT IS "TINA" AND WHERE DID IT COME FROM. (info below)

So if you read my blog and have experienced this bitch named "tina" and want to answer my questions, PLEASE do:

Why did gay men start using meth?
Why is it soo popular?
When you use it, how does it make you feel?
PROs and CONs of using meth?

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The History of Crystal Meth

Crystal Meth, which is short for methamphetamine in its crystallized form (as opposed to being either in a powder or rock formation), has become a very popular drug both in the United States and around the world. This drug, which was used almost three times more than crack cocaine in 1999, is not just a new fad. Crystal meth has been in existence close to one hundred years.

In 1893, Methamphetamine or crystal meth, was first developed from ephedrine. A chemist by the name of Nagayoshi Nagai was responsible for this creation. It wasn’t until 1919, that methamphetamine was turned into its crystallized form by Akira Ogata. Ogata was able to do this by reduction of ephedrine using iodine and red phosphorous. Amphetamine, which is a related drug, first came into existence in 1887 by a Lazar Edeleanu in Germany. Methamphetamine manufacturing initially began in the United States in Hawaii in the 1960s.

One of the earliest uses of methamphetamine occurred during World War II. The German military dispensed Pervitin which was methamphetamine. It was freely administered to both tank crews and aircraft personnel. For last three years of Hitler’s life, 1942 - 1945, Adolf Hitler received daily IV injections of methamphetamine by his doctor, Theodor Morell. This was done as treatment for depression and fatigue. After World War II, what became known as “Shabu” or amphetamine became largely available in Japan. In the 1950s methamphetamine became a more commonly prescribed drug. It was often prescribed for the following:

* narcolepsy
* alcoholism
* treatment of obesity
* and post encephalitic Parkinsonism.

By the 1960s there was a more significant use of illegally manufactured methamphetamines by users within their own homes. Since Crystal meth is made from everyday household chemicals and common household components, it makes it easy to manufacture. Today, instructions for making crystal meth can be viewed on websites and until quite recently, Sudafed, a major component of crystal meth can be purchased in bulk without question. An ounce of crystal meth worth up to $1000 can be made with just eighty dollars of products from your local hardware and pharmacy. In the 1980’s use of methamphetamines peaked. In fact, San Diego, California was considered the methamphetmine capital of the North America by The Economist magazine. The Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005, was written especially to combat the sales of of pseudoephedrine and ephedrine.

For this reason, crystal meth will have again appeared in the news yet again, creating an even more interesting history for itself than it has now.

STATE OF THE motherfuckin UNION

2010-01-28T17:59:00.000-08:00

I consider myself a well rounded person. So at 42 I do pay attention to politics. I watched the State of the Union Address last night (1/27/2010) in it's entirety on CNN.

A lot of what President Barack Obama had to say was common sense. Put the following issues really got my attention:

First, I personally don't care if a person is Democrat, Republican, Green Party or Libertarian. A good candidate is a good candidate. A good idea is a good idea. It goes not matter to me if the idea came from a another political party. BUT, what pissed me off (I swear if a Catholic Nun crossed my path at this moment I would have "pimp slapped" her ass) was how the Republican side of the chamber did not clap or stand during the parts of the speech one would think everyone would be happy. At the end of the day, we are all AMERICANS and it is time both parties work together toward a common cause. That cause being build up the economy, lower the cost of health care, develop new jobs, keep America safe from terrorist and lower the national debt. Did anyone notice how at the end of the speech the Republicans immediately leave? The only ones that stick around are his friends.

Second, national security. It is definitely time to bring ALL of our troops back home. Some battles you win some battles you lose. We need to take came of home first before we fight some other country's wars. Especially when we are fight against people who have been at odds with each other since biblical times. These people are willing to die and kill for their cause because they believe the Koran has told them to do so. To them this is a religious war, to us it is about oil and the attack on the WTC and Pentagon.

Third, The Supreme Court Justices. As I looked at them sitting in front row. My first thought was, why are they appointed for life?

Fourth, Health Care Reform. I worked for a CIGNA Healthcare for 3 years. Insurance companies are NOT in the business of keeping your healthy (they want you sick this way you use the insurance and they increase your deductible and drop coverage in certain areas of care). Pharmaceutical companies are not in the business of healing you (they want you to continue taking their drugs...it makes them money). Canada, England, France and some other countries are free healthcare (free meaning tax papers pay for health care). In those countries you go to any doctor and get treatment and don't pay a dime or pay a fixed deductible. In my opinion, making money of someone's health is morally wrong.

Lastly, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell" - gays in the military. First of all I was in the Navy for 10 years. It was a great experience. The shipmates I worked with once they got to know me did not have an issue with me being gay (actually became protective of me). I was never it fear for my life or harassed. {I have a lot of interesting experience I will share in future blogs.} As the top ranked of all 5 (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard) of the branches of service sit there and did not clap when President Obama stated he would get rid of the "no gay in the military" policy. I wanted to get on the next flight to DC and ask them, "how does a person's sexual orientation hinder you from service in the military?" I refuse to believe a gay guy would say "I am just too gay today to pull the trigger". Gays who join the military are there because they want to service their country. If the gays made it thru boot and their advance training in their field, what is the issue? The "Good Ole Boys" in charge sitting in their office at the Pentagon are basing their homophobia on stereotypes. I listen to NPR and closed-minded people call in and say "They will want to be in drag while in their uniforms" (as if doing drag goes hand-in-hand with being gay - all these stupid generalizations) or "They will make other guys feel uncomfortable in the showers" (so gay men to do have professionalism and self control? And we what every man we see?). GUESS WHAT AMERICAN, GAYS ARE ALREADY IN THE MILITARY AND SERVING HONORABLY.

Gay people can also be fire fighters, construction workers, policemen, professional athletics and yes military servicemen. In other countries military they don't care and don't ask the question.

As a multi-racial, gay man living in America, I can not help but think that most of the criticism President Obama receives is due to him being Black. This man has the toughest job in the world. It is stated he will have the toughest presidency since "The Great Depression". He has to fight two wars going on at the same time, get thru the recession, build up the economy, fight terrorism, lower the cost of healthcare, create more jobs and all of this is 4 - 8 (If re-elected). This mess did not happen in 1 year so why most expect everything to be fixed in 1 year is beyond me. The most annoying thing is that NONE of the critic have a better idea/suggestion on who to fix/solve any of the before mentioned issues.

Just my opinion. America is the best place on the planet to live but when it come to some issues we can learn a lot from other countries.

Sex Clubs vs. On-line Hook Ups

2010-01-27T18:00:00.000-08:00

Picture this, it is 1986. I remember a time when no one had a home personal computer. When HIV arrived on the scene most cities closed down all their sex club/bath houses. A lot of guys were still deep in the closet. So, most guys meet in gay clubs for sex. It was very normal to have your name and number pre-written on a piece a paper to hand out to a potential fuck buddy. And it was totally acceptable to meet a guy and bring with home with you that night.

Now let's jump to 2010, everyone has a computer and even phones that can access the internet. Most cities have many sex clubs and bath houses (if you don't know the difference....Google it....LOL). The ignorance and fear of HIV has subsided. It is not considered abnormal to be gay.

BUT now, "Houston we have a problem", some of us are lacking the social skills to encounter/meet in person. You can now sit in the safety of your home and ask question and be just a rude are you want to be. A lot of you know you don't have the balls to say the stuff you state online via Manhunt, Gay.com, BBrts.com and Adam4Adam to a guy's face. With the help of PhotoShop, a lot of guys have mastered the art of altering their pictures. The biggest issue for me is the amount of time wasted on-line with a guy who may show up and look like Shrek but his picture is Alex Rodriguez (hey, I can dream). Or the guy does not show up at all.

A while back I was having dinner with a friend. He made the statement that going to a sex club or bath house was gross. I have been to both types of venues and yes something I did see some monsters having sex. And I have personally had some great times. So I decided to let my mind go deeper into the topic. And the results actually shocked me. I believe sex club/bath houses are a necessity. Here are my reason why:

Not wasting time on the computer and end up with nothing.
You see what you want and go after it.
No lies or games because you get to see the guy right there on the spot.
Do what your need to do and leave.
If you live a very busy life and don't have time to date or just don't want to date BUT you want sex, so to your local sex club/bath house.

At the end of the day it is your choice, hookup on-line or go to the sex club. Does anyone date anymore? But that is another blog topic.